Television....

it's shit. No good programmes appear on telly, every time I'm watching it. During the day, stupid commercials appear, or do you call them infomercials? Not much info for me. Stupid. Typical American commercials "Yes Mike, with this machine, you will cut your bush outside quicker" "Angela, you don't need to work out anymore, you need Dr. Tamagotchi's relax tea, and you will loose pounds every week". Come on. Don't be stupid. If you want to loose weight, go to the gym. No pill will make you lose it that quickly and that easy. If it really worked, every American would use it.

And those talkshows? Stupid. How fun is it to sit there, and make fun of yourself? Stupid stupid stupid. "Yes, I had sex with my brother and uncle, and I don't know who's baby this is". That's just eurgh! I really don't like daytime television. It's just stupid and for those who find it interesting..... you must be asleep by the time the good shows appear.

But I would be lying if I would say that I don't watch some tellsell programmes, and be amazed. A device to make painting easier? No dripping? A good paintjob? I need that.... but there is always a but. A machine that makes food without using pans and pots? I fucking want that! But..... where's the catch? There is one of these informercials which I can't stop looking at.... the PaintPadPro. I've got a similar version of it, don't know the name, probably a cheap version of it: PeentPatProw. Don't know if it works, we will see next month. I will paint my flat with it. Hopefully it works. I will keep you updated. If not, that will be my advice to you: don't buy that shit. If it works, my advice will be "you don't need to buy that thing you see on telly, you can get a cheaper similar one in a pound/dollar shop".

Why am I talking about television? This year we celebrate the 60th birthday of television here in the Netherlands. And they show programmes that used to be on telly, but stopped. Television has changed alot. It can destroy and demolish alot. Where's the time when we played outside for hours and hours, until our parents shouted that we had to go back in? Where are the good times, where we played with marbles and painted the pavement? We need to stick behind the telly, otherwise we miss out on stuff. I don't hear anybody talking about television being addictive, but it is. How many people turn it on, the second they come indoors? How many people have got a tv in their bedroom? For what reason? I thought the bedroom was used to sleep in and have sex? Romantic, laying in bed, watching Sex and the City? Neh, not for me. No TV in my bedroom. Never will.

TV in a bathroom? TV in a lavatory? You see it on Cribs, all the celebrities have it. But why? I am not interested in the news when I am taking a shit. I don't want to see anything when I am weeing. A good book can be good too, you know? Read a good book when you lay in a bath. Nope, television is what people need. Are there any good shows on? Erm... not many.

Shows I watch, are interesting for my brain. I learn from it. Shows like James May's Toy Stories. Top Gear. Dirty Jobs. How Stuff Works. Those are shows where you might be able to use the information for personal use. James May reminded me that we had Meccano as kids. I totally forgot about it.

Don't get me wrong, stupid shows can be interesting too. I watch comedies all the time. Southpark. Scrubs. Friends. Two Pints of Lager. American Dad. Family Guy. I watch it all. But for a strange reason it still gives us advice, interesting advice. Southpark does it too. Seen the Human CentiPad? It's true. Big co-operations take over, we all click on "accept" and we don't read the rules. We submerge ourselves to whatever they write down in those tiny lines. We get screwed over again and again. We are lazy people.

Television is what brought us together back in the last century, and we were amazed by the power of it. And now we are all junkies. Addicted. Tellyheads. We can't live a day without telly. Damn you telly. Why are you so addictive?

And don't say you are not addicted! You are lying. We all watch a TV, even when we are abroad, sitting in a hotel lobby, and they show a local show. We all watch, without understanding it, but we need too. We need to be updated with daily facts and figures. But why not watch shows where we can learn from? Television has destroyed us, and the computer will do that too.

Go out and play. Only come in when it gets dark. Play, like you never played before. Sex? Have sex, without the telly. If you have a telly in your bedroom/bathroom/lavatory, turn it off, or leave it off. Enjoy sex/bathing/pooing. I know it might seem strange, but live life. Your life counts, because television can be turned on and off whenever you want. Your life is too precious, you can be turned off only once. No rebooting possible. So use it as long as you can! Play, for your own sake!! Play!