My last blog....

This is going to be my last blog, before I go to England. So there is no point in visiting this site, or say to me "where are your blogs?" Because I won't typ one whilest being in England. Why should I? I am with the loved one. She will be dreading this weekend, but we will make the best out of it.

I've just imagined. What if I took grandma with me? Hahahaa, imagine that? Lovely grandma would go mental! Hahaha.

I need to apologize for my last blog. I am sorry for those who read it and got offended by it. It wasn't my intention to offend anybody. So I am sorry. But if you think you will get offended in the future, don't visit this blog. Because I am know for being straight forward, right in your face. I won't hide my opinion. And if you don't like it, don't visit this. Thank you.

It has been a few weird days at work lately. Someone (a customer) got hit in his face with a knuckle-duster two days ago, and yesterday a truck nearly drove into the shop. The driver was so drunk when they arrested him at the next petrol station. Unbelievable. A polish truck driver, always up to no good. Why drink and drive? My colleague was scared stiff when it happened. Imagine seeing a truck coming towards you in full speed, you think that your life is ending. Bleh.

Hope tonight will be a quiet night. Don't want to do alot. I want a quiet night. Those are the best. Got the best music with me, to get me into the weekend mood. I simply can't wait to go bonkers. Hayley will love it, seeing me rave! I'll get her to rave too! Shake that shimmy! Woohoo! I know I will (what is a shimmy, anyway?)

I can't believe it's already thursday, or is it wednesday? Time flies by when you are having fun, or flies are fun, when you are having time? Have a nice week, and I'll speak to you. Well, only to those who are really interested in the inside of my brain! Arriverdeci, or something italian!

Silence....

it has been silent on here the last couple of days. But I've been busy the last couple of days, at work. Or at home. I am so knackered lately, and I simply can't be arsed to typ a blog. And when I do want too, I tend to forget. Sometimes a day not behind the computer is a Gods gift, I think. A bless.

I've been watching films lately, films that were covered underneath a pile of dust. I tend to watch films, and then store them for a long time. And if a film is shit, I only watch it once. Or I just buy it, for no particulair reason. I think I've got 10 films I have never seen. How weird is that?

Films which really happened, are interesting. Like the film "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford". It's a fucking hillbilly film, but so wicked. I don't know why. Or "The Assassination of Richard Nixon". I like things that happened for real. Or Zodiac. Interesting stuff. I don't like films that Oprah Winfrey supports. Stupid chick flicks. Bleh. Come on, we get it. Us men treated ladies like shit. Okay, okay. Slavery is a bad thing. We get it. Yes, racism is not cool. Okay. Bleh. That's why I don't like Oprah. Always going on about the past, and only the bad things. And don't get me started about Dr Phil. He is a knob. Bleh.

Operation Repo, who has seen it? It's probably the worst show on dutch telly now. So horrible. So bad. But so amusing to watch, to see how stupid Americans are. I don't get it at all. They show the Americans in the most horrible way. I would be ashamed if I was an American. So embarrasing. It shows the level of stupidity, at the other side of the Ocean (Sorry Tami). I can't believe people live like this. Living a fake life. I don't like people who tend to be somebody, and proud of their nation, but they shouldn't be. America is great to live in? Could be. But the promising land? Nope. It has I think the highest debt ever seen. Billions of dollars. And still, the USA send troops around the world, and putting billions into warfare. I don't get it. Why pretend to be great? Why not organise your country first?

I hate shows where you hear a laugh tape in the background. It shows to me that it ain't that funny, if you need a tape. I don't need someone to hold up signs, which states if I can smile, laugh, or clap my hands. If it ain't funny, drop it.

You know what is a crap programme? Shows about people's live, in full extend. Pregnant at 16? Tough shit. Should have zipped your jeans back up, before the act. Ow ow ow, it's so hard, raising a kid at that age, and you don't have work. OMG, it so bad that you and your boyfriend can't talk to each other anymore...... I do have the answer to that.... :YOU ARE STILL KIDS! NOT MATURE. Mature people face consequences. We deal with things. Teens just wanna have fun. Fun, but nothing else. And btw, you don't have a job, no money, a baby.... how come you can drive a big American car? How fake? How many decades are you going to pay for your loan?

I don't see the fascination with the USA. My new colleague, who I simply can't work with, goes on and on about America. She doesn't drink european coffee, only American. Blah blah blah. Fake fake fake. Why live the American life? I don't get it. Explain it to me? I rather be an englishman. Real. Maybe a bit miserable, with yellow teeth (as the Americans always show them on cartoons). But they are real. They deal with things in a better way. Ofcourse young pregnancy is a problem there too, but as far as I know, there ain't a huge fanbase in the UK around a programme that shows teens with problems. It ain't a normal thing, and it should never be.

Sorry if I go on and on about this, but it annoys me. People always complain, but never know when they have a good life. You might be miserable, but you still have a house, a car, food, water, everything you need to survive. And you complain about your baby? It costs money? Is that really what counts in this world? Money? Shouldn't you be afraid that your kid comes on this planet, being deformed? Or having a disease, like AIDS/HIV? Or die because of no water, or food? Is money really important? Is it important to dress you kid in the latest fashion? In Africa, they don't have designers clothes. They don't care. They were born naked, they will die naked. No Gucci bags around their thin wastes. They will die, and no one cares. But youngsters in the USA only care about the price of a baby. Disgusting.

Simple answer: use a condom, or don't have sex. The answer to the world economy? Don't give people money, who can't pay it back. Let them starve, they let other die too, without concerning.

Yes, let's give ourselves the luxury of spending money that ain't even ours, and don't care about others. We have done it for centuries, why would we change?

Maybe it's good just to be quiet, like I am going to change the way people see this world. Silence.....

(Note: no computers were harmed in the process of typing this blog. Please don't get offended)

My typical Saturday Blog.....

this is a typical one, which doesn't make any sense. It could be boring to you, as it is to me. I've got nothing to tell today, as far as I know. I could talk about my love life, but I don't know if you (the reader) is ready for that. And I don't want to post something online which could bite me in the arse, and in Hayley's arse too. I know I sometimes say too much, and I certainly don't want that to happen lol.

I could talk about my bollocks? Interesting enough? They are big and sweaty..... Nothing else to mention.

Yesterday I went to my local store, to get my package (no, not my balls). It was a voice recorder, which I ordered a few days ago. I told you before about that interview, so no point in explaining it again. But I needed something to record it with, because writing it all down, it's too much. Listening to the podcasts gave me the impression that DJ Brisk is a walking vocabulairy.... voca.... vocasomething. By the time I wrote the answer to the first question, he would be at question 14 already (not that I have prepaired any questions, it's so damn hard). I've started with writing stuff down, his past, and now I need to do the same with his present life.

But a recorder always comes in handy. So that's why I ordered it. But I never thought that it would be so tiny (again, not my balls). The recorder is the size of a small vibrator!!! Unbelievable. But I could have guessed tho, for 29 euro's. Hopefully he will take me serious. Now I need a good video recorder, hoping that I can borrow Hayley's camera. Hayley, if you read this, please clean the storage on your camera. Take everything off, before I borrow it. I know myself, I've got a brain like a monkey... I tend to forget alot. And I don't want to start recording, and all of a sudden it would say "no memory left". I would get scared and angry lol.

I simply can't wait to see Hayley again. And go to Birmingham. I have never been there, hopefully it's a cool city. Not a shite hole. We could do a sight seeing, me and Hayley. And later that night, go raving. I don't know if Hayley has told her friends, but they must think she is crazy for doing that. She is crazy..... in love. With me! No one else. Well, to be honoust, who doesn't love Robbie Williams? If he would sing "Angel" when I am trying to get some sleep, he could violate my body. Haha, imagine that?

Colin Firth is also known to be fit. Tami is in love with him. Not me. He ain't fit, he is cool. Not fit. And if you, Tami, think otherwise, I'll send you some videos of me wearing a Kings uniform and stutter. You would immediately change thinking. There ain't nobody fitter than me! Fact! Yes.... ffffffffffffffffffffaaaaaccccttttt.

This blog is absolutely nonsense. Let's end it with a nice quote, before I loose readers.

I am the greatest. I sting like a bee. - the bee that annoyed me yesterday!

Charity?

Should I do something for them? I've just been on the T-mobile site, and it had a brilliant item on it: send your old mobile to them, and then they do stuff with it, and all the money goes to charity. Sounds good, got several phones in the cupboard, which I don't use at all. I don't know if poor people in Zimbabwe want to use my old Nokia, but if it makes them happy, why not? I am thinking about it. It sounds cool. And if the phone wasn't useable, they said that it's full of parts which can be re-used again, and the money they make of selling that, goes into charity. Or however it works. I'm not sure, but it looks cool.

The last time I've done something for charity is years ago. Me and Hayley sat in a pub, when all of a sudden someone from the Salvation Army came by, and just moved his money box around. And a lot of people donated, they are the true heroes! In the Netherlands we had someone called major Bosshardt, she was one of the people who worked for the Salvation Army and did it till the end. She was 90-summit, and still worked hard, day and night for those people who needed it. She was awarded with a lot of titles, she deserved it. She was a heroin.

They are out on the street, even when we think it's too damn cold to be out. They serve food for the poor and homeless people. Me, I wouldn't do that. I donated in that man's box (that sounds so wrong). But I like the idea. It's so nice, and the dedication is huge.

We also do things on television, for charity. But I simply can't watch that shit. Celebraties on a bloody phone, collecting your money. What's the point in that? Why not let them donate millions! We work hard for our pennies, they do too. Why not let them donate something, instead of just answering the phone? Imagine me talking to the Prime Minister? Nope. I don't care, if I would donate money, I couldn't care less who answered the phone.

But I can't stop thinking..... where does the money go to? I've watched Red Nose Day thingy with Hayley, and it all looked cool. Gordon Brown with JLS and some other people around a table, that was funny. George Michael. That was funny. But then..... you could see people walking around in Africa, showing us europeans the poor people, and what our money can do to them. Looked nice, but who payed the airplane company for those tickets to Africa? Because it doesn't look free. Do all those people work for free? What about the camera man? The sound man? Do they charge themselves for working on it? I don't get the whole idea. It looks free, but who pays for all? Because the world doesn't spin around for free.

That's why I only donate to the Salvation Army. You can immediately see them working. They work for the money. And the amount of people who are homeless and poor, is so huge! I never thought it was that high. In the four biggest cities in the Netherlands, there are 20.000 people homeless. 20.000 people! Can you believe that? I can't. So hurray for the Salvation Army. Help our people! They need help too. And my pennies will go your way, whenever you are near!

Me and Music (part 4)

We are back on the music subject again. I've shown you in recent blogs what music is/does to me. And now I will inform you my recent musical experience. Everything music related will be put here. As you all know, I will be raving with Hayley in Birmingham the end of July. Never been to Birmingham, so that will be a new. I am a Birmingham virgin. Hopefully she treats me well.

Music is a great influence for me. It's bigger than any religion. Thank God that I am a non believer.... or am I? The amount of times I've used the term "Thank God" should give the game away. But I don't know. We ain't going to talk about God and Jesus, but music. And the power of music is bigger than anybody can imagine. As one DJ said "Music is our universal language". And it's true.

I've tweeted alot about my neighbours, that they must hate me for playing music very loud. I honoustly don't have a clue, because they have never complained to me. Not that I am waiting for that, but it's a fact. I must have a good and solid ceiling and floor. No beats and bass goes through that. I hope so, don't know it.

I've been addicted to other styles recently. But I like everything to be honoust. People are amazed when they are here in the flat, and I play the weirdest music. Classic music? What? You? Yes, me! Why not? Music is music. Music from the last century, like around the 1920s? I like it. Jazz? I like! Why not? It's beautiful. I don't like some music genre's, because they are dumb. Like Dutch music. I don't like this typ of music. Folk music ain't for me. No thanks.

Ok, I know you are thinking..... "but he likes his beats hard, his bass deep and the melodies strong?" Yes. But why not be open minded? Here's a list of all genre's I adore the most! Be prepared for a rollercoaster through dance music.... and see styles you have never heared off!

2step, acid, acidtechno, ambient, Bassline, breakbeat, breakcore, classical, classics, club, dancehall, darkcore, deephouse, disco, drum & bass, dubstep, early hardcore, early hardstyle, early rave, eclectic, electro, eurodance, french tek, frenchcore, funk, garage, goa, groove, happy hardcore, hardcore, harddance, hardhouse, hardstyle, hardtechno, hardtrance, hiphop, house, industrial hardcore, jump, jungle, lounge, minimal, new beat, oldschool, progressive, psytrance, r&b, raw hardstyle, reggae, reggaeton, salsa, schranz, soul, speedcore, techhouse, techno, tekno, terror, trance, tribal house, triphop, UK hardcore, urban.....

I tried to explain to Hayley the basic difference in music styles, but she doesn't understand it. She thinks it's all bass, beats and melody. All the same. All electro music. That's a bit discriminating. People who think that, you shouldn't think that. Because it isn't. As I said in a blog before, don't get me started lol.

She means it well. I will get her to know the difference to dutch Hardcore and english Hardcore. It's all about the B.B.M. (Beats, Bass and Melody, not Blackberry Messaging). The funniest thing is that my mum likes Trance music. She really likes it, all because of me! I've been to Sensation etc, and I was always into Trance music, so that's how she got familiar with it. My dad, he gave me the electro - virus. He was the first to listen to it. I think because him, I am the way I am. Thanks paps! You are a hero.

When me and Hayley were on the phone, we were talking about the rave (Uproar - Summer Sounds) and we were talking about the hotel. She didn't realise it that the rave starts at 10ish and ends at 6ish. She sounded a bit dissapointed, because it will be hours and hours of...... well..... fun for me. She will love it, the atmosphere will be cool. I can't wait. Maybe she will throw away those Madness CDs and buy some UK Hardcore CDs? I doubt it tho. But if she will throw them away, there will be an argument! I like Madness too. Not as much as her, but I do like it.

But sometimes I can't understand a word they are singing/saying. Sorry love, I ain't from London.

A funny thing to say tho, when someone asks you where you from. "My mothers vagina!"

Sorry!

Stupid Customer Service...

they keep on annoying me. I've just been on the phone for 10 mins, for an answer which I already expected. What a bummer. It costed 3.50. For an answer I'd already knew. What an annoying shit. But the man who helped me, he was nice. It was NS Hispeeds customer service. I hate the fact that for everything you need to call a number which costs money. Where is the customer service? Where is the time where you could call a free number for information?

My ticket is booked. It had a fault written on the confirmation detail, it said Martin Zeelandt, and I am definately a "van". Not German, but Dutch. Germans have "vons". We have "vans". And I am one of them. And this Dutchy will invade the UK again. It's becoming a common thing. I am more in the UK, then in France..... that's a stupid thing to say! We shouldn't never be in France, because the country stinks.

And my wife to be one day called Hayley, or Hayhay, or Hayfever, or Booboo, she has sorted the tickets. So we are going to rave. Rave damn hard. Because we are 'ard. I can't wait to see those wonderfull DJ's doing their thing live! I wanna go bonkers. Ow, I can't wait. I think Hayley can wait forever.... she ain't the raver I want her to be..... yet. Maybe she is going to get addicted to it, you might never know.

My day so far? Been boring. Been shite. Long day, had to do a lot of cleaning. But everything is sorted. I went to Heerlerheide, to my parents house. They forgot to put the bin back inside, so I did that. And I thought "why not visit my friend the barberman?" And I did. I drove to the centre to park my car, and all of a sudden a motorcycle came out of nowhere. And if my reflections were crap, he would have been dead. Scared the living shit out of me. He came out between parked cars in a street, and so fast, I couldn't see him, until it was too late. And he just smiled when he drove off. I got out of the car and shouted at him some word I won't reply. I was so furious. He could have been hurt, and my car in pieces, and he was just smiling. Dumb f**ker. Adrenaline was pumping through my body, and it ain't funny when that happens, and you have a headache already...... your mind goes ballistic.

What else have I done, besides being a murderer? Yes I am a murderer, I pay someone to cut my hair, and kill it! He is a prostitute! I pay him to release me from a burden! Lol. Never thought of it that way. I did post a few letters. Interesting? Not really, but 3 of them were sad letters. They were condolences - cards. My girlfriends grandma's sister died recently, and it's a normal thing to send a card, to let them know you think of them. But how in Gods name do you write anything on those cards? I've never written a letter like that before in English! It's not easy in dutch, imagine it being twice as hard to write one in English. But I hope they know I ment everything in it. R.I.P. Lilly.

We had a lovely time with her. Obviously I was scared, because I was meeting a legend in Hayleys family. So I was very quiet. But I loved her food, she made nice sandwiches. Bless her. We all should be thinking of Hayley and her family, during this hard time.

Losing someone in your life is so damn hard, I know. It's shit, to be honoust. I am sorry I can't be there, but I will be there the end of the month. So if people want to meet up, come to Birmingham and see Hayley dancing with glowsticks. I hope.

Sunday mornings are crap.....

and I know it. You know it too. It's so horrible. It's a day where you just want to lay in bed and never get out of it. And when you get out of it, you are going to make breakfast for your loved one (if you are single, the loved one is your own belly). But you don't need to wake up early. Why would you? It's fokking sunday.

And here I am. Awake and tired. And the coffee ain't kicking in yet. It's so hard. I've been to a birthday yesterday, and it was fun. I stayed longer than expected. I thought I would go there for an hour, but the bloody food wasn't prepared until 7 o'clock, I think. Grrrr. But the food was good. Except those black frikandels and German sausages. And I got the blame! I wasn't the masterchef, but because I didn't pay attention to the BBQ, I got the blame. Lol. Thanks Danny, you dick lol.

His daughter, Anna, is funny. But she forgot my name all the time. She kept on shouting "ey boy, come here". Boy? Who, moi? Lol. And she kept smacking me in the face. Thanks, hun. I love to annoy kids, it's some kind of revenge of a shitty childhood I had. And I will have my revenge one day......

When I was a kid, Danny was just a few years older, so also a kid. And we were best mates. He held me on his shoulders, and when he walked from the balcony to the flat, he tripped on those curtains you see people have, to keep the flies away. But that resulted in me falling on my face, and I do believe my teeth through my lip. Thanks Danny! I will have my revenge one day. Anna will sit on my shoulders once. You can't save her forever hahahaa. Yes I am crazy. I could put Danny on my shoulders, but I think that would be impossible. Have you seen the size of him? He is massive, he will destroy my shoulder and all my muscles. One day Danny.....one day!!!

And those bloody dogs, they always hang around me. I don't know why, but they do. Miriam had her dog with her, and it's a small white dog. Bless him. But don't ask me what kind of dog it is, I don't know and don't care. All dogs aren't the same, I know, but to actually name the brand of dog, I can't. Maybe they like to hang around me because I smell of shit? Or I smell of sausages? I don't know, but everywhere I go, they always follow me.

I used to be afraid of dogs, so that ain't it. Mum and Riana always say that they smell the fear, but I ain't afraid anymore. Only when they open their mouths and show me their teeth and growl. I don't like that. And I'll bite back. Ask Hayley, I bite like a dog..... Grom!

Me and Hayley having pets? I think Hayley agrees that she already has a pet...... ME!!!!!

It's Saturday....

and nearly christmas too. What am I talking about? It's still summer and I am talking about christmas? Random thoughts of the dutchman. Kill the easterbunny! Eat your iPhone! Yes, random things today.

I've just woken up, and still sleepy. It's still too hot inside here, sleeping isn't the nicest things to do right now. It's 24 degrees inside, and I've had the windows open for hours and hours, still not working. It's all shite. I wish I could live in....... I wanted to say England, but the weather is the same over there. I want to live somewhere cooler. North Pole! That's cool enough. Or Mars. Mars is a cool planet, isn't it? Or a hot planet? I can't remember, it's bloody far away and not interesting enough to remember.

Today I have got to go to a birthday. I want to stay in, but I've got too. I am a nice bloke, can't say no to someone. This is my day off, and I just want to walk around naked. Neh, not really. But I could, if I want too. It's nice to see some people, and there has been several babies been born, and I haven't seen them. So it's time to see them. Don't ask me why I haven't visited them before, because I didn't. No invitation for me, no drop by. I haven't even got a clue where they live, because they have never sended me their new address. Fuck it. I'll see them today.

Yes, I am weird. I don't visit anybody anymore, if they don't visit me. I give them a chance to visit me, and I obviously visit them, but if they don't visit me, fuck them. In the beginning I thought the flat was a disgrace, but it isn't. I thought I stunk, but that ain't it. I thought the place I live is a disgrace, but it isn't. So fuck you if you don't visit me. Bye bye then. Have a nice life.

I was thinking of a nice thing, we could organise a dunglish get together. If someone from the UK wants to visit the Netherlands, they can stay at our flat (it's Hayleys too). And they can visit the Netherlands, whilest knowing they having a place to stay. So if you want to stay here, you can! Come over and enjoy!

The big satelite is gone, no turk lives there anymore. Now there is a woman who I never see, or hear. She is even younger than me, but I think she does drugs. Strange woman, always having the curtains closed. Weird woman. Never mind. As long as she doesn't complain about the loudness of my music.

I am going to get off this chair, and do something productive. I'll catch you on the flipside!