dinsdag 31 mei 2011

It's a weird morning....

after a weird night. I had a good night sleep. And that is weird. Not completely weird. I sleep whenever I can. But I can't sleep when it's thundering. Yes, I am scared.

And I have to be honoust to you, I've been lazy today. Got to write a blog, but then I got .... erm..... bored? No I wouldn't say that. But I simply couldn't be arsed to typ a blog. But I've started one, so I should finish it.

Happy birthday dad, it's his birthday today. He is getting old. More grey hair... well, a few more grey hair (where he has it anyway!). Hope he has a nice day.

So I went to my mum for a cake. He wasn't there obviously. Back in China land again. But the cake was good. And me and mum had a nice conversation. We are normally not the type of people who have a convo about anything, both of us would get annoyed, and start talking about bullshit. We would never finish a convo. But today we did. Thanks to the Beeb. They had a Queen documentary yesterday and the day before about Queen, and it was amazing. The big rock concerts, Live Aid, everything was shown. It was brilliant. Must be the best band ever. Not every track is great but ey, can you name me a band that has the same status as Queen? Nope. So ner.

I was never a great fan of Queen, thanks to my mum. She annoyed me as kid, by playing it time and time again. I can sing along all their songs. And when you are a kid, you turn into a rebel. So that's why people always think I hate the music, but secretly I don't. Lol. Do you know what I am saying?

It was a completely different world back then. It is amazing to see all the footage of their concerts, like in Budapest, in Wembley Stadium, etc. Can't see an artist perform like that in the present future. No one can beat that. It's sad that Farrokh Bulsara a.k.a. Freddie Mercury died, but maybe in a way that's good. What would have happened to the band if he would have stayed alive? Would they still be the best band ever? Would people get annoyed, and leave them? Who knows? But the legacy remains. Until eternity. He is part of the best band ever. Yes I know, Chas and Dave and Madness are good, Hayley, but not that good. They can't rock my socks.

Sex Pistols? Led Zeppelin? David Bowie? Neh, I am not that old and rusted. Queen is cool! Deffo. Kids nowadays don't know what music is. They all think an artist is an icon, but they shouldn't. They should adore the music he/she creates, not the person. I would never want to be Freddie Mercury, his teeth were fucked. His moustache was ridicilous, and his leather pants.... well. Never. Now people adore the artist instead of the music. They keep on forgetting the power of music. They don't read through the lines. Not imagining what the artist means by singing that song.

And to be honoust, if you listen to artists nowadays, it's crap to hear them perform live. Because the huge gap between their CD and performance is too big. Not alot of artists sound the same live as on CD. That wasn't a problem back in the days. Because they didn't had the equipment to fix voices. Voices were pure and unaltered. Now you can record your voice and sounds like a dolphin, if you want too.

Bring back good music. Queen rocks!

maandag 30 mei 2011

MOOOONNNNDDDDAAAAAAYYYYY!!!

You know it by now, it's monday. I don't need to tell you that it's monday, you know how a calendar works. And if you didn't knew it was monday, where have you been the last couple of decades? It's monday, and a beautiful one. It's going to be tropical in the southern part of the Netherlands today, around 30 degrees Celsius.

Sorry, hayfever. Need to blow my nose. One second.

And I'm back. I am struggling between pants. What to wear today? I don't know. I'm going out to work today, and it will be hot. But later on tonight, a stormfront is passing. So should I or shouldn't I wear shorts? Thank God I am not a woman, who has to spend hours infront of their wardrobe, to choose the item they originally wanted.

Yesterday was a good day. No second blog, I couldn't be arsed. I went to work earlier, to eat some pie! Pie? Yes, pie. And it was delicious. My teeth still hurt. That delicious! It had marzipan on it. What a word: marzipan! Sounds like a Nazi march. Marzipan. Lol.

After work I went to the chippy. Nice meal. And after that, sleep. I was knackered. As usual. But that ain't interesting for you to read. Quite boring I must say. So we skip yesterday and go to today. What have I done today? Woke up, and straight behind the computer. Nothing else. Saw a video on Youtube. A rather interesting one. One where James May went into space. Well, not really, technically speaking on the edge, but still high enough. It was amazing to watch. Here's the video:

Maybe it's something we all need to do. It's beautiful. Breathtaking. The view is mind boggling. It's so pure and amazing, that this planet where we live on, looks so peacefull. But in real life, it isn't. Murder, crime, hate..... we can't get enough of it. We can't live on a planet, all side by side. And by looking it through the eyes of James May, you couldn't tell this planet was so fucked up. It is amazing. We should appreciate the place where we all live, and make the best out of it. Not make it worst, and then blame others for it. No, we are all to blame. Don't destroy earth. It's too beautiful. DON'T.

zondag 29 mei 2011

It's Sunday Morning.....

and I could be in bed. But I am not. I am wide awake, here for you. To entertain you. More foreigners read this blog, yesterday there were more people from Denmark then from the Netherlands. Wow. Amazing! Really funny that a few people in Denmark read it, and might think "Let's never go to the Netherlands, people over there are fucked".

Let's do a proper hello:

Hej , 안녕하세요, привет, ciao, नमस्ते, hallo.

Aren't I nice? Multiple hello's for you. They obviously mean hello. No hidden messages. I am awake, but too bored to do that. Could do something funny tho. But not that.

I should be in my bed, instead of poluting the internet with my bullshit. Yep, I know. I shouldn't do that. But as I said, I am bored. And lazy, and careless. Just have George Michael in me (faith). This all will be okay!

I'm going to work today, obviously. Need to get paid, nothing is for free (only sunshine). Wish we could have some sunshine right now, it's actually quite dark outside. Ooops, forgot to open the curtains. How dumb am I? After opening, it's still grey and dark outside. Bleh. Don't want to go to work, it's too bleh to go. Rather stay behind the computer. The warmth it creates keeps me entertained. There is no one online, I don't know why I am?

Does this bring a smile on your face? It's a nice sight. A nice sunset. Yep, it makes me smile. Because it means it will be a good day. Grey mornings are crap. But it can change tho, never underestimate the power of the God of.... erm... the weather? Who is the God of the weather? Isn't it Mother Nature?

No one is online right now. Lazy gets. Get up, and enjoy the silenceness. Sorry for using a lot of -ness endings, I like it.

It's nice, not being online aswell. I am always offline on BookFace, and MSN has been off my computer a long time ago. I don't do MSN anymore, it's annoying. It's boring. The only way to get in touch with me is via Twitter, Facebook, Hyves, Partyflock, Youtube, and the oldschool mail. How long do you have your mail address? I've got it since Hotmail started. Years ago. We started working with computers at school, and I immediately started using Hotmail. It's amazing that it's a must nowadays. You need an email. Without it, you are useless. Even my mum has an email. You need it. It's a must. But if you have MSN, I must say "why"? Blackberry Messenger, or some Apple App can do the same. Waste of time, being on MSN. It's shit.

Maybe I'll post another blog before I go out. I don't know. I am lazy! Enjoy this sunday!


zaterdag 28 mei 2011

The Netherlands, The UK and the USA.....

are miserable countries! Oops, I've said something not nice. Should I be punished? Nope, I'll explain in a minute. Let's do a nice round first, and welcome you!

Welcome. Hope you are alright. You might wonder why I don't do a video, but there is a simple reason for that : I look like shit. Not a nice way to polute Youtube with my morning uglyness.

Let's get back to the topic of this morning. These three countries are miserable, in several ways. To live in, for a start. What did they say about the USA? Every 3 minutes someone gets murdered? Wanna live there? And the UK? Every 3 minutes a car gets stolen! No no no. Not a place for me to go to. And for those who read this, I am not lying. Maybe in the amount of minutes, but not in general. It's just so sad!

I would never want to live in the USA, not my type of country. I don't like fakeness. It's too hard for Americans to explain themselves, but it is true. As I said a few blogs back, they are fake. Spending money that they don't have, living a lie. Why live a life that you can only achieve with money that ain't yours? Be happy with what you got. And Santa doesn't come just because you have 4 christmastrees! He will come to you, if you'd only have one tree! But is it nice to live in the Netherlands, you might think?

No, and yes. A definate no, because of everything that we have to pay. We pay so much every much, just to live. We pay health insurance every month, and it has increased last year. We pay 105 euro for the basics. EVERY MONTH! Even tho we don't go to the doctor. Money waisted! We pay every month a little amount for our future funeral. The counsil gets money every month, just to let us live in the city.

Living in the UK, maybe better? Nope. The weather is crap, and the food can be bad. Fish and chips? The smell of it is just horrible. You have nice food shops, but not alot. You don't sell proper french fries! Not the way us dutch chippie's make them. We have frikandel, you have a red sausage which looks like a penis that has been used alot (by shagging/wanking). The colour! Pure red. Pure evil. You have a government which makes the country not worth live in.

Think about it...... The people who live in the UK have to cut costs, because of the previous recession. Costs are only going up, while the amount the people are receiving by working only goes down. Everything goes up in price. It's harder to survive. And now they are closing hospital after hospital.
The USA ain't an improvement either, the countries depth has reached some trillions. TRILLIONS. And the Netherlands are not any different. We got quicker out of the recession, but that doesn't mean the recession was gentle to us. We pay a lot more, compared to 4 years ago. Murder numbers are still high, the country is still in a battle against drug users, and criminals. Should we be proud? No!

But we are! Look back at the wedding of Kate and William. How many people watched the whole thing? A lot. How many people where standing outside with flags? How many were proud they are british? A lot. And why? You complained about the highness of the price, which you had to pay for. You payed for the wedding to happen! Millions of pounds. Wasted! But when it all happened, you all didn't mind. You were as happy as the couple were. Happy, and proud.

Queensday, we were so proud over here. Everybody embraced the colour orange, don't ask me why. We all watched telly, and felt a link going through our bodies. We were united as one. When the horrible Queensday occurred, we were a nation in pain. We felt attached to our fellow dutchman. But why? We pay the salary of the Queen, and all she ever does is cut some ribbons.

You voted in the USA for the first black President! What an achievement. You saw him get inaugurated (did I spell that right?). You stood beside you fellow American, everywhere you saw people who were proud of being an American. You felt connected. But was it necessary? Did he change a lot in the USA? Nope. He only got Osama, which I still don't believe. Show the bloody picture.

But that's who we really are. We complain, but we love it. We love being part of a country, where people do care. When people get killed, we care. If a fellow countryman/woman achieved something special, we are proud. We take the piss, when other countries fail. Or when it is a President who is doing his toast, whilest the Queen was listening to the national anthem. Or when our ex- prime minister tried to ride a skateboard, and fell hard! We laugh about ourselves too. We love it. We care. YES WE DO CARE. That's what makes us unique. Do you need democracy to let that happen? Nope, you need to live in these three countries to experience that.

The weather in England might be bad, but it's still a lovely country. If it was so bad, the country would see alot of people trying to escape from it. But still, a huge amount of people don't move at all. It's their country, it's their weather. They complain about it, but secretly they love the rain on their faces.

Living in these miserable countries might seem hard, and it is. It makes us harder, and unique. Other countries are jealous. They will never achieve what we did: we live in a miserable country, but we love it! Mac Donalds slogan is used now, because it is true. I am loving it! Yes, and you love it too!

Or are we just miserable? We don't care, we are proud to be Americans/English/Dutch. And we should never be changed. The world is jealous of who were are. We are the true leaders of mother Earth. And we will still remain that for centuries to come!

vrijdag 27 mei 2011

Friday.....

a day for a lot of people, that means a lot. Because it's the last day they have to work. Not me, I've got to work this weekend. And for the first time in a loooooonnnggg time I don't mind it. Because I go back to my roots. I'm going to work at the station where I started to work nearly 10 years ago.

This picture is years old. Really old. Has changed... nothing much tho. Still the same outlay. Can't wait to work there. Going to be wicked. I'll be home, eh?

But today I've got to go to Maastricht, my station. Hope it doesn't get busy, and I doubt it. It's going to be ace for a reason. Because it will be a good day (I can't talk about it, people might read it lol>> work people).

I've got nothing much to say. Yep, boring. You might think something is wrong with me. Nope. It's just so early. Nothing has happened that I can share with you, maybe later! Bye bye!

woensdag 25 mei 2011

Another Bullshit Blog for you!!!

and for your eyes only. No one else will read it! What will we discuss today? Nothing much, I've just made a video for all my viewers, here it is:

So, there you go. So you know right now! Leave a message after the beep: BEEEEEEEPPPPP.....

My dad is the milkman...

it must be! Or the garbage man. Dustbinman? How do you call them? You know, those who hang at the back of a big truck, and pick up garbage? Nightman? Stupid translate page. Nightman? What's a dayman then? You know what I mean! Why am I saying this? Because I look nothing like him. He is a welder, and a good one. He has build Space Mountain in EuroDisney, Kitkat Oddessy at Fantasy Island, etc. He is super cool.

He ain't afraid of heights. I am. Terrible with heights. A stepladder is acceptable. But higher than that? NO! He walks around at heights without safety armour. He is super relaxed when it comes to that. He is such a handy man, unbelievable. The car he recently bought (A Renault something, but convertible) had engine problems. Without thinking he opened the bonnet, and looked for what the problem might have been. Didn't find it. Went to a proper garage, and they couldn't find it either. So that would have been a problem for others, not for him. He bought a new engine and fitted it himself! See? I can't even makes holes in a wall, without injuring my face! You want to know how I did that? I used a wooddrill instead of a ....erm.... harder drill. A wooddrill is used for wood. I know that now.

Maybe I am my fathers son, when it comes to humour. He has got the same level of funnyness. We both like stupid comedies. Like Alo Alo, with Renee! He likes that kind of humour. It's brilliant. We don't like the same music, but we can have a laugh when we listen to it. We do look alike. In a funny way. Not the hair tho. Thank God for that. I've got hair, he must have lost it somewhere along the way. I tried Google.com to look for his hair, but they say "page cannot be shown". Weird, eh?

We have not a lot in common, but I love the man. I do love him! Hope he doesn't read this, because he will say "where you on drugs when you typed it?" Or he might laugh like a dog with asthma. Or like a pig with swineflu. But God be damned, I laugh the same. Shit, bugger.

I can't imagine myself in my dads shoes. He has got more guts then I do. He is more than I am, a hard worker (him, not me). I work hard in a different way. I've got other ways to relax. His way of relaxing is building stuff at their home. He relaxes while doing stuff. I relax when I close my eyes on the sofa, and curl up like a baby. Or watch telly till my eyes fall out of my head. I am lazy. He ain't.

Dad, you are my hero. Without a doubt. Milkman or not, I don't care. My dad is super cool. I am proud to have you as my dad! I am not talking about the milkman, I am talking about my dad, Math. Voicewise we sound the same. One time, his company called their house, and I still lived there. I answered, and the receptionist started talking about flight information and bla bla bla. I wrote everything down, and at the end of the conversation I said to her "I'll give the information to my dad when he gets home". She was embarrassed, because she thought she was talking to him.

Here is a picture of my hero:
It ain't a sexy picture, he is married. To who? My mum! So ladies, back off. Or my mum will kill you. Serious. Ask Hayley. My mum is not to be messed with. My dad is taken. Sorry. Back off.

Dad, good luck in China. Kick ass, matey. And come back in one piece. Don't stay there too long, you might start eaten with chopstick. Don't do it matey. You are as dutch as a man can be. Just like me.

Top Gear

Nothing can beat the show. I am a fan. Yes a fan. I am a typical bloke, just like them. They are heroes in my eyes. True and dedicated. And fun is the keyword of the show. I'll post some video's at the end of the blog, if I do it now, I can't typ properly underneath.

My heroes. Definately. Jeremy Clarkson, Richard Hammond and James May. I've read the book about the history of Top Gear, and it amazed me. It was stunning to say that even tho it's Jeremy, he can't get away with alot of things, people write to the Beeb and complain about him. No need to do that people, I've got the cure to that. It's a simple procedure, they've invented it in the 70s, it's the remote. If you don't like the show USE THE REMOTE AND CHOOSE ANOTHER PROGRAMME, you dipstick.

It's a cool show. Not all guests are that interesting. I liked the episode where some parlement person came and talk about their new policy, and Jeremy couldn't let this man finish a sentence without having to answer more questions at the same time.

Richard Hammond is just cute in a way. Not in a gay way, jeez. No way. He is the cool youngster. He can get away with his stupidity. Well, they all can. But it's just so funny. I love it.

I don't care about the cars alot. They are all unreachable, and I'm not interested in horse power, etc. Brake horse power? What does that mean? Like I'd care. I want to know if it goes fast, and if it can brake quickly. That's all. And most of the times they answer my question.

James May is a legend. He is cool in his own way. Captain Slow? I am captain slow, I drive a Renault Twingo 0.8 liter from 1996. I am slow, not him. He bought a Ferrari 430 Scuderia. Slow? Never! His humour is so funny. And he is right, most of the times!

I love the outtakes and laugh moments, when the show is on. I like it. Alot! It's pure comedy. Blokes laughing about what others do wrong. You have to see the video's to understand. If you are a Top Gear fan, I don't need to explain. It's pure and simple comedy, no complexity. Basic laughs. Pure. That's why I like the show. No nonsense. No bullshit. Raw. In your face. I like that.

So if you like it to, cool. If you don't, like I care. I will continue watching it over and over again. I don't care if I am the only person in the world who likes it, sod the rest! Top Gear! Love it or hate it. Maybe this next video can change your mind? Give it a try!


Now all of a sudden this writing underneath thing works? What a bummer. Watch the video's! Do yourself a favour, and entertain yourself with good ol' humour. Half hour max. I've watched them several times. Over and over. I know I wasted my time, but I don't care. LOVE IT MATEY!

dinsdag 24 mei 2011

Weird dreams.....

do they have a meaning? I've just woken up, and I know I slept weird when my arm is covered in quilt tattoo's. You know, all stripey. When you sleep on the quilt, and it leaves a print on your arm. And it's on my face. Probably everywhere. I know I was dreaming about something, but I have forgotten it. Isn't that weird?

Dreams. Do they have a meaning? Is there a point? Why do we dream? And if we dream about weird stuff, why do we do it? Sometimes I'd rather sleep without dreaming. Because that's heaven. Not dreaming, not caring what will happen. There hasn't been a dream so bad, as the one I had when I was a kid!

(This is my dream, no animals or parents or kids were hurt)

One night, I come home late after going out. I know my mum has extraordinary ears, she can hear when someone in Kenya farts. So I walk up the stairs very quietly. But I fail. The bedroom door opens, and there is mum..... with an axe in her hand! I keep telling mum that it's me, but she doesn't pay attention to it. She is swinging the axe, and I get so scared, I literally jump down the stairs. No bones are broken, thank God. I open the door downstairs, and in the living room are......my parents sitting on the sofa? The first thing I say is "there is someone who looks like mum, swinging with an axe upstair!!!". They comfort me, and hug me. And all of a sudden, they start smiling like the devil, the axe comes out again, and................ I wake up!

That's the only dream I can remember. Scary stuff, innit? I know every kid has a love-hate relationship with their parents (no parent is good). But this takes the piss? I don't know what it means! Thank God I've moved out, lol. No staircase to jump down on.

Also a weird thing, if I want to go to sleep, and I need my brain to go to a special place, it is in a shopping mall in Heerlen. A shopping mall? Yep. I picture it in my head, and I slowly drift off. WTF does it all mean? How weird am I?

Awww, bless this lady. She must be dreaming about the dutch Brad Pitt.......me! But it amazes me too. All who read this, you watch tv shows, don't you? Like soaps? Eastenders, The Bold and the Beautiful? Pay close attention to the actors. When they pretend to go to sleep, the ladies always go to sleep...... with make-up on. I don't know anybody who does that. Make-up should come off before napping, because if you don't, you get that shit on your cushions. Fake.

OW! I've just realised something else! Something deep! My vision of life and the universe is like this: the christmas snowglobe? You know them? Hayley has got them. My vision about the universe is that we are in a snow globe, and that world is in another snow globe. A continous snow globe thingy. Do you know what I mean? We live inside a snow globe that some kid has in his bedroom. And he lives in one too. A never-ending snow globe thing. That's not deep! That's stupid. Sorry!

I will dream tonight again probably. About what? I don't know. But when we were kids, they made us believe that if you write down on a piece of paper, what you wanted to dream about, and put it underneath your pillow, you would dream about that! Never worked. I never dreamed about being Hugh Hefner, or Stephen Fry, or the king of the Netherlands. So complete failure. But I will tell my kids someday the same thing.

Speaking of childhood memories, we have a saint here, called Sinterklaas. He is a holy man, who lived in Turkey a long time ago. He helped the poor people, and that is good. Now he is a legend here, we celebrate his coming to Holland with parties, it's a kiddies thing. I think he originally lived in the third century A.D. And someone in the 18th century A.D. wrote a story about it, suitable for kids. And it turned out into a national thing. We believe in him (when you are young). He comes every year from Spain, where he lives with his moors/black slaves (good slaves!) They all dance and are cheerfull all the time. The arrival of the Sint is always shown on television, and I let Hayley watch it last year. She thought it was magical, but weird. That's why it's national, and not international.

But we all know he ain't the real Sint. When you get older, your parents tell it to you. Or your schoolmates. But you find out one day. And it hurts. It's like when people say Santa Claus ain't real. But who is the man in the suit? Just a bloke. Santa Claus is a copy from Sinterklaas! You didn't knew that? Now you do. Well, the last 25 years a certain man has been "Sinterklaas" and he is part of my childhood. He retired a few days ago. Thank you. He made the Sint as a good man, with humour, and sarcarsme. He was kind, but could be cruel. That's part of the whole thing. If you were a naughty kid, the slaves would put you in their bag, and take you back to Spain, to be re-educated. So you always were nice around the arrival, until his departure on the 6th of December. His birthday is celebrated on the 5th, that's why he comes to Holland. He drops presents down the chimney, just like Santa Claus. Fake american shit, the dutch shit is fo shizzle!

Thank you Sint, for my childhood. My kids will experience it one day too!

Be honoust, he looks like a real saint! Bless him. Thanks Sint! You are a true legend! God, can I dream about being a kid again, waiting for the presents he would drop down the chimney? Thank you!

maandag 23 mei 2011

Youtube is sooo.....

annoying! Whenever you want to watch a video, sometimes a stupid commercials comes up first. Listerine? My arse, f**k off. I want to watch something else, I don't care about my teeth. Some adds can be switched off after 5 seconds, but not all. Youtube, you fail. Unbelievable. Can't they tell that it's annoying? Yes it is. Stupid commercials. If I want to watch a commercial, I'll put the telly on.

And speaking about television, am I the only one who thinks that there is nothing good on it anymore? Everything has it's own spin-off show. First CSI, what will be next? CSI Kerkrade? CSI Blackpool? CSI Yorkshire? CSI Antwerp? Come on. Some spin-offs are even better than the original, but not always.

Here in the Netherlands we have a channel full of kiddy shows. Nickelodeon I think? It's shit. iCarly? Two stupid teenage girls on dope! That's what it is. Hyped up kids. And I hate it when you have a show, and you need a "laugh"-tape. Why need a fake audience? Because no-one wants to go and visit it, because it's shit. Do it like proper shows, if the audience don't like it, the laughter will be lower. Proper comedies have that. And am I the only one who thinks cartoons are more violant? More death. Why is that? I used to watch a cartoon about a kid who shrunk, and lived with a goose. He flew everywhere on his back. Amazing stuff. And the Smurfs? The only violant person was Gargamel. And Azrael. Those were the good days. Not some Japanese cartoon, where one destroys something. Pokemon? Meh. Too much manga. Don't like it.

And then when I thought it couldn't get worst, the Beeb did it. Don't scare the hare. It scared me! WTF? I've watched a minute, and after that, I spend an hour puking on the bog. This is horrible. Is it comedy? Is it anything at all? It's a waste of tax payers money! That's what it is. Dutch shows aren't good either. Where is the humour? Where is the realness of people? It looks like the shows are fake nowadays. Fake people. Fake laughs. Is the world fake? Must be.

Getting back to Youtube. I need to thank them tho. Because they give me hours of pleasure. Alot of video's unwatched. But I will one day. Hours of pleasure, after minutes of agony. Commercials? No please. I don't care about Russell Brands newest film, I don't like the man. His comedy show he did was soooo lame. Am I the only one who cares?

A lot of comedians use swear words all the time. Just to make a point/prove a point. Don't. There is only one who could do it, and get away with it: Richard Pryor. But his show had a deeper level to it aswell. It was controversial back then. A coloured person saying the N-word and F-word all the time? Wow. Amazing. But he could capture your soul with his humour. And to be honoust, only a black person can use the N-word without being rascist. (No offense people, I couldn't put another word there, black was the only word I could think of before it get's racists). He had humour. He had flair. RIP.

The world must have had the Apocalypse moment. Because everything around me has turned into a living hell. The priest is right. We are in hell now. 200 million people are in heaven right now. Can't imagine what that's like. A big rave! Woohoo. If that's heaven, I wanna go now! Hayley won't like it in heaven then. Hahahaha. God, do you have earplugs? Or how you call them? Earcoverthingies? So Hayley can come with me!

Imagine standing in front of heaven, and Petrus stands there, going through the list, and all of a sudden you hear "in 10 minutes we will play Russel Brands newest film, in Dolby Surround"? AAAAARRRRGHHHH.

Bleh. Hell or heaven, I can't decide. God, you decide for me. Whatever is best. Which is the emptiest place of them two. I'll go there. Thanks in advance!

This early for me....

isn't good. I don't know why I set the alarm so early, I don't know. This is ridicilous. Bleh. Wish I could go back to bed. But I know, if I do go back to bed, I will be late for work. Not a good idea.

Goodmorning everybody. Another day passed us. We survived another day. We should be happy that this American priest was full of shit. Or is he a so called priest? Don't know, don't care. We live. Another day!

And what a day it is. It's a good day I hope. No early shift for me, but a late shift (this means from 2 till 10). And I like those shifts. Not waking up early. It was too meh for me. Yesterday started so crap, 20 customers until 9. That is nearly 7 customers an hour. That's too boring. But on the other hand, so good. Because that ment I could work outside without getting disturbed all the time. And then my friend the rain arrived. Not for long, but he came. And what he did was good. Lovely jubbly, the rain was good. I really like miserable weather, I'm in my elements then!

Doesn't it look pretty? Rain falling down the leaves. Bless mother nature! But rain can cause misery, whilest driving. If it has been too dry for very long, the roads are dangerous to drive on! But never mind.

What else am I going to do today, besides waisting my time at work? Nothing much. I think Maccy Dee tonight, Ralph promised me! (Maccy Dee = Mac Donalds). But besides that, nothing. I'll be in bed as usual. Maybe another blog later, like I'd care. Just wait and see!

zondag 22 mei 2011

Me and Music (part 3)

Yes, part 3. It's just useless, Blogspot. Complete failure. Hope you have watched the video's. I did put effort into it, you know. I know some people who read the blog might think "I ain't gonna watch this shit". Ok, I get your point. But do it for yourself. Imagine me at the beginning of a new century, waiting outside the Amsterdam Rai (it was snowing), waiting for the gates of heaven to open. And after going in, a whole new world opened for me. A world outside rave music a.k.a. Hardcore. This was Techno, Club, Garage etc. More music styles for me to embrace. And I did. It was the first time I got hooked on Garage, but I've only realised it why I got this passionate about Garage the last 2 years. It's because I've had that moment before. Without realising it, it all took part. I was there, when Garage was HUGE. Not in the same country as where it all came from, but hey, do I give a fuck?

Innercity, OMD. A good party. Definately. I saw good DJ's perform, but also a crap one. The Green Lizard. What a c**t. OMG. King twat. Yes. You couldn't hear the music at all, he was shouting down the microphone so hard. He got boo-ed all the time. Complete failure. Utter twat.

Obviously I went the next year too. Those big parties only happen once every year, if you got lucky, maybe twice a year. I went to Mysteryland 2001 too, which was a good party. The music was amazing, the weather good (it was in the summer). The prices were acceptable then, now the prices are too high. Artists are overpayed? YES.

But then..... Sensation White 2002. A friend of mine who worked at NedCar with me, said I should go with him. I did, and got hooked on Trance music. Trance music. Yes, I was in a state of Trance the whole night. I couldn't rave that hard, because I've experienced a scooter crash weeks/months before, and my back was completely ruined. I was doped on paracetamol and ibuprofen. The DJ's were good, not all of them. One so-called SuperDJ, DJ Jean, played crap. Utter crap. Bleh. I was glad when his set was over.

Let's see if I can find a good ol' picture! Give me a minute. A MINUTE I SAID. NOT A SECOND!

Those were the days. You should have been there. Are you listening to the video's, while reading this blog? You should. Marco V is turning the table right now, the people are going mad. I know I am. I look like a retard right now, but I was there, and you weren't. So ner.

I can talk about every party I've been too, but that would just take ages to typ, and for you to read. So I'll just talk about another part of my music history, which happened not so long ago. When I was a few years younger, I adored everything Ministry of Sound related. They had the best of the best CDs. And I bought all of them. Not all of them, I'm not a millionaire. Maybe one day..... And then, I bought the Annual 2009. Two CDs and one DVD. I never watch music DVDs, I hate that. I don't want to see videoclips of it, I want to let my brain produce an image, not some stupid video. But one day, I went behind the computer, and thought "why not?" It would be a shame not to watch it, I payed hard cash for it. And I did. All crappy video's, except the last one. DJ Q feat MC Bonez - You wot?. I thought "WTF is this? You wot? I wot what?" I didn't get it. The music was weird, but cool. Nice bassline, and the MC was alright. Never mind, DVD back in the case.

Months later, I saw The Sound Of Bassline CDs, which were a bargain. 2 for 14 quid. Meh. Why buy it? I didn't knew one artist on it.......... wait....... Hey, there's this DJ Q thingy. I need this one. Yep. I'll buy both of them. It has bass, I hope? I bought them in the UK, and when I got home, I forgot about the CDs, didn't even pay much attention to it. But one day I decided to listen to it. And I got hooked. Again and again. More and more. Woohoo. I like! Where is the Facebook "I LIKE" button when you need it?


Yes, I am happy now. I liked it alot. Got more and more information about the style. More mixtapes downloaded. I think I've got more UKG music, if you compare it to Hardcore or Hardstyle. It's so addictive. And still I go mad.

One day, I went on the internet (when will I not?) and found a website where they had radiosets. I never knew DJ Q had his own programme. I downloaded a few, and found a special one. It wasn't his, but a repeat of a UKG Soundclash. I missed that too. It was a show full of oldskool Garage tracks, and wow, it brought back feelings. Good feelings. Those feelings you have when your belly rumbles. Yep, those feelings. I love them. I got hooked. Addictive like crack. Never stop this feeling.

Some people might say it doesn't suit me. But I don't care, music makes me a happy dutchman. And without music, like can be miserable. Music enlightens. It brings a smile on your face. Doesn't matter which style it is. You feel happy, or sad. That's the power of music. Music brings people together, no matter what skincolour you have. Black or white. The power of music is bigger than faith. Yes I am saying it. And it is true. Do you care if you are clubbing with other religious people? Or people who are not religious? No you don't. You care about the music. The music is power. They say knowledge is power. Don't know about that. Does it make me a world leader? Do I become a special person for knowing the Pythagoras formula? No.

Music is power. Now you know. And also my music history. Hope you listen to music and enjoy music like I do. Let's all enjoy it. Get your favourite album/mixtape/cassette and play it now! OUT LOUD! AND SING WITH IT! (depends if it does have vocals: if not, don't sing) DANCE. EXPERIENCE THE POWER OF MUSIC.

I'll be back

Me and Music (Part 2)

We kick off where we left the last time, in 1998, after I went to my first big rave. Yes I have been to small raves before, but not as large as this. 25000 people entered the place where it was held. Amazing night. But we kick off from then. No need to get back to that era. We have passed it. And before I forget to say it, the reason I typ it now, is because I might forget I promised you it. And I am typing as fast as I can, because I can. But it's going horribly wrong all the time. My fingers hurt, and I haven't even started properly yet. Let's get cracking then!

I got hooked on the rave scene. It was an amazing feeling. For those who never experienced it, do it. Go mental, let yourself go. Why waste your life, without having tried at least a simple thing? It's not a task. But it's something managable. Something you can do. I've done it several times so far, and the urge just keeps building up every time I hear a good track

Mysteryland, Innercity, Sensation, Raving Nightmare, etc. Raves I've been to. Thanks to me, and my family (well, a bit). I've lived life a bit. I've tried other styles too. Don't get me wrong. In 2001 I went to Innercity. Or was it 2000? It was 2000, I've been on Youtube the last 20 minutes, and I found an old VHS put onto Youtube. I salute you for it. Thank you, I've been waiting for that for ages. Because I don't have VHS anymore. Back in those days, it was normal. I've still got the video, but no player. That's just worst, innit? I'll post the video's here now. No one will like it, fuck it. It was amazing. Thousands of people going nuts. And even a Garage part. I can remember it, because there is where I got chewing gum stuck on my arse. Not my arse, my jeans! I had to buy a shirt to cover it up (Yes I am vain). Hahahaha, good ol' days.

Shit, it ain't letting me post properly below the video's. Ow well, new blog in a second then!


I've just woken up....

and the world hasn't ended. As far as I can tell? I haven't been outside. I could be the only person on this planet left? OMG. Open the bloody curtains! Nope, I am not the only one left. Bloody cat is here too!

So this priest was full of shit? Yes, I think so. He predicted an apocalypse before, but it didn't work. Now it didn't work either. Hahaha. The word of God is a lie, matey! And do you think God would let us know when the apocalypse is near? He would do it unanounced! Obviously. God has never spoken to us.

Yesterday my life nearly ended. I am not joking. I am serious! Nearly had a major accident. I can try and paint a picture here, but that would just take forever. And you know what is funny? It was caused by a God believer, a priest. Or someone else who has got a white collar. You know what I mean. I hope I don't go to hell, because I flicked my finger at him. I was so angry. He missed my car by an inch. I was so angry aswell, I was thinking of getting out of my car and beat the living shit out of him. But why would I? That would mean I would get a one way ticket to hell. No thanks. Just the finger!

Yes, people can't drive. I don't care if you wear a white collar or not. No one can drive. And it annoys me alot. Someone who can't drive: they should take his/her drivers license off and never let them drive again. People, you have an indicator for a reason, USE IT. It annoys me that so many people don't use it. Or people who are driving really close to your tail. I normally press the brakes once, and it freaks them out. Learn to drive. I know I ain't a perfect driver, but I am close to one. I know my speed can be too high sometimes (I have had several tickets the last couple of years, but the maximum was 10 km/h too fast, so that's acceptable). And I only drive fast on the highway, no where else.

I had one other ticket, for holding my Blackberry in my hands. 190 euro! That's the highest. Otherwise I am a nice driver. But don't expect me to be perfect, because I am not. Compared to others, I am. So ner. Please people, use your indicator. If not, get off the road. Why stay on it, if you are a knob?

It would have been a blessing, if the world had ended yesterday. OMG daytime television is absolutely shit. So boring. I was changing channels, and I saw a programme and I think it was called "Don't scare the Hare". Wtf? People, what is going on? Where are the good shows? Comedy Central doesn't know what it's doing either: 8 Simple Rules weekend. You can imagine I ain't watching that. What a shitshow. Bleh. Thank God this weekend is over in 20 hours. Back to normal comedies. I can't stand stupidity. I am too clever for it, or too stupid (you choose for me).

I need to get ready for work. Think, when you go outside in your car, to use your indicator. Or there will be a little demon on your shoulder called "Martin the Crazy Dutchman" and he will tell you something else!

Don't be a prick in traffic. Behave. And use the things you were taught. Don't be a prick!

Alot of people don't know they have an indicator. This is one. USE HIM!

vrijdag 20 mei 2011

DJ MaRtIn-I Top 28 20-05-2011 (Oldschool Bassline Special)

1. Tombstone // Reproduction (DJ Q Special)
2. Danny Dubz // Runaway (Feat. Davina) (TRC Remix)
3. Booda // Loose Control (Feat. Lady Phatima)
4. Veteran // Dub Special
5. FB // I Wanna (Zibba Remix)
6. T2 // Can We
7. Virgo // More 2 Da Floor
8. TS7 // Get Up (DJ Q Special)
9. Nina Jayne // Anything (Paleface Remix)
10. Zibba // Liquids
11. Mr Bass // Rock Da Boat
12. DJ Venom // Not Wise (Feat. Carly Bond) (Scandalous Unlimited Remix)
13. Jamelia // Thank You (Delinquent Remix)
14. DJ Q // Dirty
15. Booda // Superstar
16. T2 // Powerhouse
17. Mr Bass // Are You That Somebody
18. Dub Militia // Fya Water
19. Wesley 2 Play // The Way It Goes (R Kane & Domino Remix)
20. Delinquent // Afterparty
21. Tek 1 // Ya’ll Ready
22. Tex // Secrets
23. Dub Militia // Bad Man Pull Up
24. T2 // I’m Saving My Love For You
25. FB // Baby Baby (Feat. Carly George)
26. DJ Q // Tea Bag
27. DJ Curious // Don’t Wanna Let You go
28. FB // My Love



Thanks to DJ Q, who had this mix on his show at 08-09-2010.
Yes I am doing the top .. again. Because I want to. Now shut up!

The end of the world is ......

near. According to messages I've been reading. It's near, ladies and gentlemen. We are going to die. Wow, that sounds weird. It is this saturday, so make sure you do something with your life. Don't sit behind the computer, go crazy. Walk around naked down your street! Sleep with anybody! I don't care, just go bonkers! And when the police wants to arrest you, just say that it ain't your fault, because the end is near, and why bother about the rest of the world? Maybe you can get away with it (I doubt it). But give it a go. And let me know. I want to know what the world does!

Maybe planking? WTF is that? That is just dumb, and a bit funny. Laying somewhere like a plank and take a picture of it? Don't see the humour in this, a lot of people lay like that every day in a hospital. Like a plank. Is that the most exciting thing the world has got to offer? Laying like a plank? My God, maybe it is good that the world ends a.s.a.p. because we are a failure. Laying like a plank. Yep, an achievement. Let's all lay like planks. Come on. Let's do it. Let's turn into complete morons! Woop. Plank like you have never done before!

Yes I am taking the mickey! I lay like a plank every day in bed, for hours and hours! That's what I do. My dad calls me a woodchuck, or a marmot (both are the same, but maybe where you are from, it could be called differently). I am a woodchuck. If there is a world record to be beaten, and if it is about sleeping the longest, I would win. A woodchuck. To be honoust, in dutch the word is marmot, and I had to look it up. Like I would know that the english name for it is woodchuck, lol. I am really bad when it comes to animals. I don't know their names. And I don't mean like "Dave" or "Lizzy" but the animal names. To explain what they are, which typ, which breed. You get my idea.

Let's get back to the end of the world. It's saturday. Shit, I need to work then. I will die in uniform. Grrr. Why? Why not.....erm...... any other day, when I am not at work. I can imagine what my last words will be:

"you have number 4? that's 44.29 euro. yes you can....................BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM"

The Boom bit means obviously the end. Where will you be when it is going to happen? I still can't believe it. I always thought it would happen on 11-11-11 at 11:11. Not really tho, you can not think and act like God. We ain't God, and we don't make decisions like he can. He will decide which day, not us human beings. And why would he? He would be a weird God, letting his creations die like that. Vanish into thin air. The thing he created from someone's rib. I was probably made of a woodchucks rib. Obvious. But why would God do that? He wouldn't be that stupid, would he?

It is true, we have been walking this earth for thousands of years. And what did we achieve? F**k all. We destroyed Mother Nature. We gained land for our own benefit. We are a greedy kind of species. All about us. Not caring about others. The second Adam or Eve at from the apple or banana, it all went wrong. By the way, I'm not discriminating the gay population. I'll include them in this blog too. Instead of Adam and Eve, it would have been Adam and Steve. But how did we repopulate? Never mind!

We have achieved alot, but nothing really interesting. If you believe in aliens and all that, you must agree that they have done alot more than us, silly people. They can fly through hyperspace. What can we do? Mach 2? We can go to the moon, that's all. They have concured space and time. What did we do? Go to the f**king moon, the most deadliest place. We went there. We made the Eiffeltower. We created a sheep called Dolly. We have.......... done f**k all. Come on people. We gave God a good reason to destroy us.

The end of the world? My arse. It's not this saturday, and not 11-11-11. Why not? The end of the world was when us humankind took over this planet. We all died then. We are robots.

Btw, think about a certain thing today. What will happen when you die? Where do you go? Where does your thoughts go to? What will we experience? I love thinking about the unthinkable. It's juice for my brain. Brains in hypermode, that's the only thing we can achieve. Thank you, Redbull!

I knew I wrote a blog yesterday about me and music. I'll typ part 2 next time, probably after saturday. No need to do it now, if the world ends. If it doesn't, come back to this page. Bookmark it, share it. Place comments. Do wild things. I care. Let me know what you think! You know I am talking about YOU! Yes, YOU, sitting in that chair. You have come here for a reason. And thank you for visiting.

If it is the end on saturday, it was nice to know you all. I'll catch you on the flipside!

Nice picture? I think so. It proves another thing. As I can see, it falls on Russia. So we still have 1 percent to live! We can hide underneath a rock. Meh. Like I care!

donderdag 19 mei 2011

Me and Music (part 1)

are friends. Good friends. I told you several blogs ago, that I would typ my musical history. And now I will do that. Music history, not the musical stuff as in theatre. But let's get back to reality first.

Hello to you. Enough of the welcome sh*t. Ok, are you ready? Really?

27 years ago, my mum pooped me out. Not my fault, my dad wanted some jiggy jiggy time with mum, and voila, there I was. When I grew up, you had MTV, but no other music channels. And obviously the radio. But the radio wasn't that important to me at that moment. It was my parents who made me listen to some artists/bands. I grew up with the sound of Queen, Abba, Barry White, etc. A lot of Motown music aswell. My dad used to listen to lame rock music, I'm not going to mention it here, it's embarrassing.

My mum is a big Queen fan. She went to their concert in Rotterdam, I think? Or somewhere else. She still has all the LPs. And she knows all the songs. Back in those days, LPs were the only thing for us. There are alot of picture's of me listening to an LP with a MASSIVE headphone on. It was cool, back in the 80s. We were a new generation, coming up. The music style changed, more rough and tougher. The music industry had realised that we wanted more, and harder.

My dad was a Techno fan. He bought "Turn up the Bass" cd's. Before you ask me, he was fan of a band called "the Sweet". Okay, enough embarrasment. Turn up the Bass. It was all new to me, I was still a tiny boy. And I was so proud of my first stereo they bought me. It had a radio, and cassette player. Wow! I was cool, all of a sudden. But jealous of all those people who had a CD player. I didn't have one. Not even a CD player (the one you carry around). I knew one friend of the family, who always bought CD's. His name is Dave. He was more into the harder stuff. I was still processing the 80s.

So one day I went to him, with a cassette, and asked him, if he could put some nice tunes on it. He just bought a new "House Party" CD, which he thought would be good for me. I was alright with that. I walked around with my cassette player and massive headphones, OMG I was cool. No one could disturb me, I was in my own world. I was hip! Supadupacool. Nice House tunes everyday. And every month (I think) they released a new compilation. So I went to Dave, and he did it several times. But one day he said "I've got House Party 8, and I don't know if I would put it on your cassette!" I was wondering, why wouldn't he? I has been good so far, have they changed it? And yes they did. It was a Hardcore CD. Hardcore? What's that? "Okay mate, put it on, if I don't like it, I will come back next week for other music."

I was on the bus, and I put the cassette in. Volume nearly to the max. And then.......... BOOM BOOM BOOM FUCK FUCK BOOM BOOM BOOM!!!!!! I thought I broke my cassette player, this ain't music? What's this? The F- word? OMG. This is weird!!!! I tried turning the cassette around, see if the other side was the same. And it was, maybe even harder. Bugger. If this is Hardcore, it's shit! Or isn't it? Let's just listen to it. The bass is wicked........ Meh. Just give it a shot.

And I got addicted to it! I can still remember I was at school, and me and two other classmates had a presentation about Rave music, because back in the days, it was Hardcore or Rave. I couldn't define it like I can right now. We made the classroom listen to it. I don't know and don't think we got graded for it. Imagine that everybody was into Pop music, and not other styles. Maybe House, but that was the hardest they would go. And there were two plonkers, who listened to a Bass related style. Amazing.

More people got addicted to it, you could hear it back on the radio, or on television. It was booming business in NL. Everybody wanted a piece of it. You have to remind yourself, that there were people who wanted to listen to a certain style which didn't made them an individual. But back in the days, if you listened to it, you were. But the scene grew fast, and you became a gabber (pal). A gabber was a person who listened to Rave music. But not with the distinctive looks. They came later.

Mum forbid the music. It was devilish music, no good and descent person would listen to it! If she would find something related to it, she would destroy it! So, when the first cassettes came out (Thunderdome) I had to hide them in my closet. Because I knew that my mum wasn't talking bollocks! She would destroy them. More and more I got into it. But I was still listening to cassettes, not CDs. But that would change.

My first single was "James Brown is Dead" by L.A. Style. And my first compilation was "Yabba Dabba Dance volume 1". And one day, mum and dad bought me a CD player! Not a carriable one, one for my stereo set! OMG I was happy. I borrowed all my dads "Turn up the Bass" CDs and danced in my bedroom. To be honoust, I never gave them back, I still have them! Sorry dad.

Back in those days, my family was a member of a certain book store chain. You could buy books and CDs cheaper, but you needed to buy every month. So once a month we went to that store, and every month they sold shit. But then my eyes were pleasured: "Mysteryland 1994". I saw it, and wanted it. But I never forgot what my mum said to me about Thunderdome cassettes/CDs. But this was a compilation, the first disc was Thunderdome, second The House of Love, and the third The Eclipse. I hoped my mum wouldn't notice. AND SHE DIDN'T! Wooohooo! Yes. My first Hardcore CD! I gave my mum my pocket money, and there we went.............with a "forbidden" CD!!!!! I tricked her!

Back at home, always the headphones on! She wasn't allowed to hear it! I hoped she wouldn't find out! Because that would have ment: CD in the bin! So I listened to it always with the headphones on. I knew my parents weren't bullshitting. Because, whenever I would put the music on too loud, my mum would warn me once, and then dad would walk upstairs with a scissor, and cut the cables of the speakers in two. So they would mean it!

After all these years, I still have the CD. It doesn't play like back in the days, because there are more scratches on it, more then expected. But I had it, and was proud. My CD collection grew every month. More Dance music. I got hooked on it. The biggest label was Arcade, and I always bought CDs from their label, because I thought it was the best label with the best music. If I think back, I know I bought a lot of shit, wasted money.

But one day, when my cassette player was broken, I asked my parents to record "Mysteryland" onto a cassette. And they did. But their player had a malfunction. You could only record it, with the volume maxed out. I went upstairs, forgot about the max volume. I was in my bedroom, when I heared "BOOM BOOM DJ FUCK BOOM BOOM". I knew I would get killed. Stabbed? Maybe. Something would happen, because the whole street was enjoying the beats. The whole street? I think they could hear it in Germany, it was so loud. I walked down, with wet underpants, and I saw my mum and dad looking at me. And I knew, that this was it. The end. But then my dad did something which astonished me................................

He started RAVING! Not that he knew how to. But he tried. And mum said "this is the only CD that you are allowed to have". Pfew. I got away, I was lucky. Jesus, thank you. But that would change tho. A few month later, she found my secret stash, my Hardcore cassettes. And she made me destroy them one by one! How cruel is that? I cried my eyes out. I didn't want to destroy them. "Please mum, this ain't Hardcore, this is Happy!" The longest day in my life! Pain! Yes.

But parents can be persuaded. And they did. The music scene changed, Hardcore got more accepted. And she said to me one day, that she could forbid it for the rest of my life, but it wouldn't make any sense, because I am stubborn (I already replaced the emptyness in my wardrobe). So she would accept it, as long as she wouldn't hear it. You can imagine that my speaker cables got cut several times.

When they were cut, I always looked at my dad with my sad face, and he welded them together again. I never learned! Lol. I still play it out loud. F**k the world! Hahahahaha.

In the year 1998, I got more addicted to it, but still was underaged to go to a rave. I went to a school disco (yeah, wow, exciting..... NOT). I wanted to become a raver, a gabber. No Nikes tho, I wasn't allowed. But 1998 would change my life. My classmates all said they would go to Mysteryland, the actual party! I tried to persuade my mum, I needed to go! I think I still owe them a month, washing up. Lol. It took me days to make my mum say yes, and the day she did it, I went immediately to the record store in Heerlen, called Satisfaction. I bought a ticket, and I was again the happiest boy in the world. But when I got home, I read the back of the ticket, and it said "minimum age of 18". Ow shit, I am 16. I can be refushed entry. And then what? I had to wait outside? Bollocks, I don't want that. Sod that.

I was brave, but pooped myself in the bus. Not actually. Imagine that. I was afraid. This girl who was sitting next to me, I can still remember her. Big tits, yes, she had them. And she asked me if I wanted some smart drugs! My reply? "Nah, thanks, I just had a pill". Pfew, got out of it easily! Now I just needed to get into the rave. Just me, no one else. NONE OF MY CLASSMATES WENT. I waited at the busstop for them, but they were full of shit. I was the only one! That made the whole situation 100 times worst. I got at the entrance of Mysteryland, and hoped my mums eyeliner would help me (you know, the pencil which you use to colour the eyelashes). I drew a moustache, just to make me look older. My cap was hanging over my eyes, to hide my age. And then..................... I GOT IN!

There were 25000 ravers, plus me! Exciting! Woohoo. I had the time of my life. More raves would follow, but this was the most memorable one. The first one, no virgin anymore!

You can imagine I was really upset and angry at my classmates. F**king fake wannabee's. I went, you didn't. Loser. So ner!

I'm going to finish now, because my fingers are hurt. Next blog will be the era after 1998. Thank you for reading it. Hope it made sense!

This ain't my bus btw. But just to give you a clue how it went on those days!

woensdag 18 mei 2011

How should I start this?

Should I say F**k it? That would be weird to start my blog with! It's a track lyric. Well, getting back to reality. How are you doing? I'm fine. Last night was a good night for Twitter, or a bad one? I've been tweeting my arse off. More than 200 tweets in 2 days. Wow, amazing. And I am starting right now again. Why you might think? Because I am bored. It used to be funny on Facebook, but it ain't anymore. It has changed alot. Not alot of people are interacting anymore. They go on it all about theatre and shit, I am not into that. So that's me excluded.

But I am not bored. Got a lot to do online. Writing this blog for you. I had a reader from Germany, India, America, England. Maybe more countries, but I don't know now, and I'm not going to check it, because I will loose everything I typed. So I'll say hello to you!

Sorry, I had to do a number 1 and 2. And get new ciggie's, ran out. I could chat about my poop, but you are not interested, I might guess? What else have I done? Ow yeah, got a new cup of coffee. Senseo coffee all the way. The best coffee, besides Tchibo. That was good coffee. But I stopped drinking it, because we changed machines at work. Now it's Douwe Egberts. And I don't mind. Imagine working a nightshift without coffee? That would be like living in hell, I think?

I hope tonight's nightshift goes better. Last night was utter crap. Boring. Nothing much to do. As I said yesterday, I went an hour earlier for my colleague. He wanted to go to a football match, where his team could become champion. They didn't. Standard Luik lost. How funny is that? He could have stayed at work. But I am a good colleague, so I said "just go". He will do an extra hour today for me, so I will start at 11 tonight. An hour shorter doesn't make it acceptable. Because it will be shit. Long hours without anything to do.

In a nightshift you always get the people who have lived with a formula. D+D=A. Dumb + Drunk = Arsehole. Yes, they are everywhere. Must have lost a lot of their braincells, because they talk like rubbish. Unbelievable. They annoy me. Alot! Because they always enter the shop when I just finished mopping. I wish I could have a nightshift with normal people! Please GOD, let ASDA sell time machine's so I could go back in time, 3 days back. Because I had the perfect nightshift then. The A2 was closed and I could do all my work without being disturbed. I loved it. Hope tonight will be good aswell!

What do I miss during a nightshift? A computer. Yes I do. Wish I had one, which could keep me entertained. I miss music. I know I have my Blackberry with me, but sometimes you read on Twitter that a certain show is starting, and I always hate it for me not listening to it. (Does this make sense?).

Bleh, enough about the nightshift. Anal lubrication. Now that's a thing.....erm..... I can't talk about. How did that come in my head? Must be the little devil on my right. GET OFF MY SHOULDER. NOW! Leave me alone. I want to be an angel, and not talk rubbish! Yes I know it's hard.

If you read any of my blogs or tweets or messages on Facebook, and you get offended, I am sorry. Didn't mean it. I had a conversation with someone last night about useage of the word "retard". Well, I can go on for hours, but I messaged him/her by DM, and said "if a retard says someone else is retarded, is that allowed?" Because I know I am a retard. You know it too. Read my blogs for god sake! Aren't I a retard? I rest my case.

Oooopppssss, nearly no picture! Let's see.


Yes, two picture's from me when I was at school. I used to learn infrastructure. But I failed by one tenth of a point. Stupid school. But I am older and wiser now, I hope? (NEVER)

dinsdag 17 mei 2011

As you can see....

I've updated the site a bit. A twitter thingy on your right, how cool is that? More needs and feeds for you! I was on a twitter mode last night, OMD. Not normal. So many tweets were flying around the world wide web. I was on a roll. A good one tho. I liked it. My followers probably didn't. But do I care? Lol. I was on a moot mode last night. And this night I think the same will happen. Those nightshifts are boring, so f**king boring.

Hopefully I don't get cramp in my foot again. That was horrible. Never again. It hurt like hell, and it ain't comfortable when you have a walking job, you know. When you walk alot. It was so quiet last night, bleh. Can't help myself. I've finished everything really on time, but I had other things to do..... sitting around picking my nose and shooting bogeys. YES I WAS BORED.

The weather is looking alright. But hopefully it will rain tonight, so I can read my book. If I don't forget to bring it with me. I've got to start an hour earlier, for Ralph. He wants to go to some football match, some belgium match. I don't have a clue what team. Honoustly, I don't have a clue how football works. I know they have to score between 3 metal poles, but that's it. (I am not being racist, I ment poles as in....erm.... not the polish people from Poland!)

Alot of people have tried to explain it to me. But I'm not caring. I'm bored when watching football. You can ask Hayley, I am annoying while watching it! I always take the piss. That's me! Pisstaker. Do I need a piss right now? Nope! Thank GOD!

What do I need to say? Don't know anything. Erm... maybe about something I really don't like. Comedy Central has those "Roast of..." shows. They are horrible. I've never seen anything that horrible. Apart from Snoop Dogg, the other "comedians" I've never heared of in my life. Lisa Lampenelli (or however you spell it) is negro cock addicted? Is that really necessary to point out? Really funny, yep. NOT. And they always roast a second hand artist/actor. In the United States they are B-actors/artists. But the comedians are B too. What a waste of my time! I've watched the Roast of Donald Trump. That man is so lame, and dumb. Donald Dumb, much better name that suits him. Americans, please come with something entertaining. Something like "Friends" or "Will and Grace" or "Family Guy" or "The Simpsons", etc. Please do not make shows which will make Stephen Fry loose his mind. He is all about intelligence, and those shows aren't. (Just between you and me, the shows I named two lines ago do not have alot of intelligence in it either, but do have a certain message in each episode).

Stephen Fry is a f**king legend. YES HE IS. He is the king of knowledge. Well, in my eyes. How can he know so much? He is well spoken. Not my type when it comes to the looks, but hey, I'm not gay. Every time he comes on air, he just amazes me. Who else is a legend? Mistajam! He is the best radio DJ in the world. So humouristic. Always bringing the world the best beats. And did I say hilarious? I say it again. Stephen is hilarious too, but in a gentle way. I love the bits where he goes ballistic. Go on Youtube and find episodes of QI. You can do it!

You might think, why doesn't he name a dutch person? Because they are crap. Dutch radio presenters always talk through records all the time, never play long versions, always take the piss, are racists (some of them are). I don't like the radio nowadays. The only radio channel I listen to is radio 1. The news channel. The best there is. What about TV then? Dutch TV is shite. Come over here and watch it yourself. Or get a big satellite in your back garden and watch it from where-ever you are. It's shit. Nothing funny. Times have changed.

Let's honour the man who's knowledge can be usefull for aliens. They shouldn't probe stupid Americans (also known as Rednecks, I think?). They should probe him. His knowledge blows everybody away. Imagine that. Stephen Fry getting probed. He wouldn't mind hahahahahahaha. But all jokes aside, he is the king of knowledge. And for that, we salute you!

There is only one thing bad about Stephen Fry.......he has a Iphone. A bloody Iphone. Grrr. He should come to the BB community! But every person has it flaws. Stephen Fry is a legend. No matter what he says or does. STEPHEN FRY FOR PRESIDENT! OR KING. Whatever rocks your boat!

maandag 16 mei 2011

Another day, same shit....

no, that's not how it should be. Same shit, different day! That's it. Meh, can't be arsed to change it. The TAB button don't like me now. So I'll leave her alone.

How are you doing? I'm fine. This morning I wasn't. Went to bed and had to wake up early, for the dentist. I wasn't excited to go there. He did a filling, in a super horrible place. You know your front teeth, the one's you see when you are smiling? One of them. And not from the back or underneath, but up front! You could see the bloody big gap in it, when he drilled it! The filling up took so f**king long, I was in agony.

But that is done, for now. Need to go back in August, if I don't forget. I know my brain. So, I have it written down somewhere, now I need a day off. At work obviously. Bleh, don't want to go. I know it's far away, but I don't want to go.

What else has happened? Nothing much, I was at work last night, and from 22:00 till 03:30 there was no customer. Because they were working on the A2. They were finishing a bridge for animals to cross over. Can you believe that? Some roads are still completely ruined after the frost, and still not rebuilded, but they build a bridge for animals? The world is going nuts. A bridge..... for animals? I care about animals too, but that is just taking the piss. How much money is it costing us? When will animals pay us back, mm? Come on squirrels, birds, cows. Start paying hard cash, not milk, nuts or other materials. We need money. The world is poor. Yes, we are. Have you heared how high the depth is in the USA? 14.29 trillion dollars! WTF?

That's a lot of money! I wish I had one percent of it! Trillion? My god. Ridicilous. I know it sounds absurd, but the americans should blame themselves too (sorry Tami). They have several mortgages, several loans, several creditcards, etc. But no money. 1 christmas tree? F**k that, we need 4. We are americans! What the hell? You don't have money, stop spending other people's money.

I can understand that the USA needed the money, for whenever a disaster happens. Like hurricane Katrina, or an earthquake, or the flooding of...erm... somewhere. It's going mad. Now several people want to stop sending money to the poor people in Pakistan, where Osama has lived for several years, before he got killed. Why stop? They haven't done a thing wrong! They are the one's who need the money. They depend on money, to get food, to make food, or to put it this way: to survive!

I've heared a story on the radio this morning whilest driving to my crib, and it was about a village in Pakistan. They had everything on documents, and it said that the USA had sended 5000 dollars to that village. They were so clever, they still haven't spend it all. They have 2000 dollars still untouched. Isn't that amazing? They have nothing, but still managed to not spend it all! Those people who are desperate for money, they need it. Not americans who just spend it because they can. They want to work for it, and in the long term, they will earn it back. They can produce food for themselves after a while, after buying stuff to make...erm... a field full of food? Machine's!

Please, people from the USA, don't be greedy like that! The world depends on you. The third world I mean. They need your money. Don't spend it on bullshit, spend it on usefull things. I simply don't get it.

I don't get it. The world has a lot to spare, but doesn't. How many celebrities do actually spend their money? I can not believe that all the actors and musicians who went to poor places in the world, for Comic Relief or something else, had to pay for their own ticket. They travel in style, just to see poor people, and ask poor people in the UK, USA, NL, to spend their money. Isn't it weird? Not that I am against donating money!

You don't hear me saying it. But think closely before you send the money next time! They might say they do stuff without charging money for it. But do they really? Do they BOLLOCKS! If I were a celeb and had the money, I would do it differently!

Do you think the BBC would have such a large TV show/programme without getting money for it? Camera's will not record, if you would ask it gently. It's need power. It need people controlling it. It's all a vicious circle.

I give money to one charity, and no other. The salvation army! Those are the true heroes! When it's minus 10, they are handing out food to the poor people of our own country. When it's christmas, and we all sit around the fire, they are helping the people who need it. The people who sleep, live and die on the streets. And the amount of people on the street will only increase, if people spend their money, when it ain't even their money. So people, don't spend if you don't own it!

Ps. God, does this mean that I get a place in heaven? I wrote a nice blog! I have a heart! Please, give me a seat! I don't want to go to hell, I hate the heat. I love the coolness! Please? More blogs? Okay, but not today!

zondag 15 mei 2011

Wow, I'm on a mission today....

to spread nonsense on the web. I'm actually amazed that the viewers can understand what I am typing, because I am foreign to you. Not to me, I am dutch! How can I be foreign when I am in Dutchland right now? To give you an idea where I live: I live literally 2 minutes from the German border. I can smell the bratwurst when I open my window. I can hear Pinkpop every year, when I am actually at home! I live in the south of the Netherlands. There you go, topography! Always interesting to let you know. And now you can tell your friends that you know a bit about a certain dutchman.

You want to know more? Erm.... my ATM card number a.k.a. Pin number is....... hahahahahahaha. Like I would tell you that! I am stupid, but not that stupid! What was my Pin code again? Shit, I forgot! Erm. Erm. Bugger, what was it again? Never mind, I will know it in a minute. But still not sharing it with you!

What can I chat about now? Maybe a bit more about me? You want that?

I was born a long time ago. Last century! Hehehe. Makes me look so old. I was born in 1983, to be precise on the 31st of August. My mum pooped me out. She was fed up of having something giving her food cravings. So she pooped me out, way too early. I was too lightweighted.... you know..... I was skinny. I think 2 months too early, she pooped me out. And I was born cross-eyed. Yep, that was me. All my mums fault. I had surgery on that eye, but still I can feel that it didn't had the effect it should have had. I still look cross-eyed when I am tired. And when I am drunk. But hey, I don't get drunk too often.

My mother is a bit coloured. My father is white as a sheet. And I am a mix. A mix of roots. My fathers family is from the Netherlands, and my mothers from Indonesia. I have told you that, didn't I? Bugger. Ow, something I can share is this: when the sun comes out, I get tanned. I just need to smell the sun, and get a colour. Thanks mum. But I am not a tanning guy. I don't like it to lay on sand, waiting for me to turn into another colour. And I don't like bugs either. They always come fly around me, or crawl around me. Leave me alone, bugs. My face maybe coloured, and my arms too, but my belly is white, and my legs are milk bottles.

Any other news I can share? My father builds rollercoasters, all around the world. That's what he does. Interesting? Yes! I can get theme park tickets for free! Woohoo! My father is a true hero. A legend in my eyes. So relaxed, and so cool. He recently had an accident, but recovered quick. He is a true man. He can fix everything. He made his own garage! He fixes his own car. He has got so many tools, he could start his own garage. He is so clever: that's my dad! I wish I could have his fearlessness. I am afraid of heights. He ain't. He is a bloke, a die hard bloke. He could teach Arnold Schwarzenegger a lesson! He is the Terminator, my dad. He has been to so many countries around the world, I envy him. But that ment that he wasn't always at home when me and my sister were growing up. That's the down side.

Let's see if we got a nice family picture:
My mum and dad, whilest watching the football match. Obviously in the local pub, they are addicted to that pub for some strange reason. I am not like that. They simply don't give a fuck! That's my family. I haven't got a picture which includes the whole family. Always someone out of the picture. Maybe a good idea to do that sooner or later, a family portret!

Any other news to share? I am.... dutch? You know that already. Got nothing to report now. I'll get back to you later, after I've done the dishes and have eaten. Bye bye!

Let me tell you something.....

I don't like today and tomorrow. I don't like it. I have to go on a nightshift, whilest they are working on the A2 and the shop is closed. I don't like it. I'll be all on my own. And I have to wake up goddamn early, because of my dentist appointment. Bleh. But I've got to go. My teeth look like Quasimodo's teeth, all fucked up. Oops, sorry. I'll rephrase that. My teeth are f**ked up!

And how weird is that? I've just called my parents, because I knew they had an dentist appointment tomorrow too, at the same dentist. But I didn't knew when. But now I know. They go in at 3, I go at 3:15! How funny is that! I see them again tomorrow lol.

But it ain't tomorrow yet. It is today, and I hope it will be a good day! What should I do today?? What should I write today?? Let me think for a second.

I SAID A SECOND! I'M STILL THINKING!!!!

I'll talk about my history. My England History! Maybe you want to know, how I get to know England so well. It started a few years ago, when my dad asked me if I wanted a workholiday. He knew that Fantasy Island in Skegness were looking for staff, because he builded two rollercoasters there, the Millenium and the KitKat Oddesy. So that's how he knew. I thought about it for a second, and said yes! Why wouldn't I? It would be an experience. So I went there, without having a clue what I was going to do. I didn't knew where I was going to stay etc. I stayed at someone's trailer, but got kicked out, because I took some girls to the trailer after 12 o'clock at night, which wasn't allowed. I stayed at someone's house, which was cool too! I quickly got a name around there, and they gave me the name Joey. Joey you might think, is completely different if you compare it to my real name. I'll tell you why!

I used to work at a trainstation in the South of Limburg, and someone said there that I looked like Jerry Lee Lewis, with my glasses on. When I said to the people from Fantasy Island that my nickname was Jerry, I couldn't prenounce it correctly. After trying to explain it to them that it was Joey, and not Jerry, I thought why not give it a go. So my nickname there was Joey.

I worked at Fantasy Island for two summers. I had to go back to the Netherlands, because I worked here too. But I always wanted to stay there for longer, because it was sad saying goodbye to them all. Had so many good times. Even celebrating my birthday in style, in a club! Well, not a posh club like Ministry of Sound, but a local club. I raved all night, got so drunk, but I didn't care. I was enjoying myself! Let's see if I got a picture from that night:



Yes I was wasted that night, as you can see! Good times, as I can remember. Can't remember why Laura was crying. Maybe I punched her in the face, but it must have been an accident. OMG I was wasted. Unbelievable. But it was my day! It was so amazing that they kept on requesting songs, because of my birthday. It was then when I got hooked on Eric Prydz's song, Call on Me. Couldn't stop dancing to it.

I went there two years in a row, and had so much fun. The payment was good, colleagues were great. So many memories. And I think I went back in 2008, just to have a look, not to work. And a lot has changed. Sadly, not alot of members from back in the days were there. They all left. A few stayed, but most of them left.

Back in the Netherlands, I was watching Comedy Central one day, and saw a trailer for "Two Pints of Lager and a packet of crisps". I liked the humour immediately, so I thought "why not watch it?" After several shows, I went online, to look for pictures, videos etc. And then all of a sudden I found a website, where they had a forum, and it was all about the show. I became a member, and a whole new world opened for me. Met alot of new people online. It was amazing. And they came up with an idea, a barbeque. But in England. I never met them before, I was so freaked out. I would drive for hours for a bloody barbeque. Should I do it? But then I thought "Fuck it, just do it". And I did. Have a lot of good memories. Met alot of them. And that's why I have a special thing with people from the UK. They are special.

I went to the BBC two times, I think. Met new people there too! But that will be a new blog next time. Or maybe I should talk a bit more about those people. But not yet. I am bored, my fingers hurt. And my bed needs to be made. So, au revoir, as the French would say!