Weird dreams.....

do they have a meaning? I've just woken up, and I know I slept weird when my arm is covered in quilt tattoo's. You know, all stripey. When you sleep on the quilt, and it leaves a print on your arm. And it's on my face. Probably everywhere. I know I was dreaming about something, but I have forgotten it. Isn't that weird?

Dreams. Do they have a meaning? Is there a point? Why do we dream? And if we dream about weird stuff, why do we do it? Sometimes I'd rather sleep without dreaming. Because that's heaven. Not dreaming, not caring what will happen. There hasn't been a dream so bad, as the one I had when I was a kid!

(This is my dream, no animals or parents or kids were hurt)

One night, I come home late after going out. I know my mum has extraordinary ears, she can hear when someone in Kenya farts. So I walk up the stairs very quietly. But I fail. The bedroom door opens, and there is mum..... with an axe in her hand! I keep telling mum that it's me, but she doesn't pay attention to it. She is swinging the axe, and I get so scared, I literally jump down the stairs. No bones are broken, thank God. I open the door downstairs, and in the living room are......my parents sitting on the sofa? The first thing I say is "there is someone who looks like mum, swinging with an axe upstair!!!". They comfort me, and hug me. And all of a sudden, they start smiling like the devil, the axe comes out again, and................ I wake up!

That's the only dream I can remember. Scary stuff, innit? I know every kid has a love-hate relationship with their parents (no parent is good). But this takes the piss? I don't know what it means! Thank God I've moved out, lol. No staircase to jump down on.

Also a weird thing, if I want to go to sleep, and I need my brain to go to a special place, it is in a shopping mall in Heerlen. A shopping mall? Yep. I picture it in my head, and I slowly drift off. WTF does it all mean? How weird am I?

Awww, bless this lady. She must be dreaming about the dutch Brad Pitt.......me! But it amazes me too. All who read this, you watch tv shows, don't you? Like soaps? Eastenders, The Bold and the Beautiful? Pay close attention to the actors. When they pretend to go to sleep, the ladies always go to sleep...... with make-up on. I don't know anybody who does that. Make-up should come off before napping, because if you don't, you get that shit on your cushions. Fake.

OW! I've just realised something else! Something deep! My vision of life and the universe is like this: the christmas snowglobe? You know them? Hayley has got them. My vision about the universe is that we are in a snow globe, and that world is in another snow globe. A continous snow globe thingy. Do you know what I mean? We live inside a snow globe that some kid has in his bedroom. And he lives in one too. A never-ending snow globe thing. That's not deep! That's stupid. Sorry!

I will dream tonight again probably. About what? I don't know. But when we were kids, they made us believe that if you write down on a piece of paper, what you wanted to dream about, and put it underneath your pillow, you would dream about that! Never worked. I never dreamed about being Hugh Hefner, or Stephen Fry, or the king of the Netherlands. So complete failure. But I will tell my kids someday the same thing.

Speaking of childhood memories, we have a saint here, called Sinterklaas. He is a holy man, who lived in Turkey a long time ago. He helped the poor people, and that is good. Now he is a legend here, we celebrate his coming to Holland with parties, it's a kiddies thing. I think he originally lived in the third century A.D. And someone in the 18th century A.D. wrote a story about it, suitable for kids. And it turned out into a national thing. We believe in him (when you are young). He comes every year from Spain, where he lives with his moors/black slaves (good slaves!) They all dance and are cheerfull all the time. The arrival of the Sint is always shown on television, and I let Hayley watch it last year. She thought it was magical, but weird. That's why it's national, and not international.

But we all know he ain't the real Sint. When you get older, your parents tell it to you. Or your schoolmates. But you find out one day. And it hurts. It's like when people say Santa Claus ain't real. But who is the man in the suit? Just a bloke. Santa Claus is a copy from Sinterklaas! You didn't knew that? Now you do. Well, the last 25 years a certain man has been "Sinterklaas" and he is part of my childhood. He retired a few days ago. Thank you. He made the Sint as a good man, with humour, and sarcarsme. He was kind, but could be cruel. That's part of the whole thing. If you were a naughty kid, the slaves would put you in their bag, and take you back to Spain, to be re-educated. So you always were nice around the arrival, until his departure on the 6th of December. His birthday is celebrated on the 5th, that's why he comes to Holland. He drops presents down the chimney, just like Santa Claus. Fake american shit, the dutch shit is fo shizzle!

Thank you Sint, for my childhood. My kids will experience it one day too!

Be honoust, he looks like a real saint! Bless him. Thanks Sint! You are a true legend! God, can I dream about being a kid again, waiting for the presents he would drop down the chimney? Thank you!