Christmas....

It's that time of the year again: Christmas is near. The world embraces the red and white colours to dominate everything, and everywhere you look there's this man with a huge beard and baggy clothing, demanding us to sing for him Christmas songs. Oh how jolly. Most people have big Christmas trees in their house, real or fake ones. If I'm brutally honest, I do like it, decorating the tree and the house. You take out the big boxes you've got hidden away from the world for 11 months and blow off the dust, and take out everything and decorate it with passion. Thankfully I've got a lovely girlfriend who always helps me out, so decorating the tree is something we do together, and spending time together with the person you love is what we are after, aren't we?

But there's one side of Christmas I never understand at all! It's the media. The media goes absolutely bonkers months before Christmas, getting us all excited with stupid adds we don't want to see. And if it's not the media, it's the companies who benefit from this jolly festive season. Why only during this season can we get items with a discount? Why not throughout the whole year? Why pay so much more a day after Christmas when the item hasn't changed at all? And why is it always busy in shops when I go shopping? I dislike shopping a couple of days before, but I'm a man, so we do our shopping as late as we can, preferably the day itself. Busy days are not my cup of tea.

I do love shopping, and if I do go shopping, I spend minutes in a shop. Not hours like most females do. I use my four braincells and go chasing for the ultimate Christmas present. Promotional offers always hits you in the face, and even at the till you are bombarded with items you do not want to buy. The worst things are always sold during this season, and I have always wondered why 'willy-warmers' are a pleasant thing to buy for anyone. Or stuff similar to it. There are actually companies who make crap, and during this festive season we are most likely to buy it. Why?

I won't buy anything for anyone if they don't need it. I've been warned months prior to Christmas what to buy (my girlfriend always gets excited in September), so I do know what to purchase. I love her excitement, she gets a sparkle in her eyes. So I buy as much as I can, and always hope I've bought more presents than anyone else, because it's a game, isn't it?

Christmas is also the time of the year when people start fabricating shite music, re-make old classic anthems and updating it to the present day. Why would you mutilate a Christmas classic? The originals are always better, and hearing a boyband sing 'White Christmas' only makes my hemmorroid bleed ferociously. But they still sell, and probably appear on the top position in the chart, and I always wonder how that's even possible?

From a Christmas tree in the living room to Christmas music in the car to having a Christmas wallpaper on your phone, this season is dominated by balls, trees and festive songs. Also food is an important thing: we in the Netherlands like to gourmet, and if you don't know what that is... it's much better than turkey, I garantee! Shoving things up a dead animals' bottom ain't pleasant to do or to look at, so let's skip the turkey this year and gourmet. Look it up if you want to know what it is!

Secretly, I do love Christmas. It might appear that I dislike it a lot, but secretly I do love it. There's an atmosphere I can not describe, and like my girlfriend I'm happy when I can play 'Driving Home For Christmas' by Chris Rea in September. Why? Because I can and want to. Yes, it's all about being together with your family and friends, and this year I will be working throughout the Christmas days, so not time for the family at all. After Christmas I will be spending time with my family, and spending time is important, but to me opening presents is the most important bit of it all!

I love my family throughout the year, but during Christmas there's only one thing I want to do: sit, eat, watch a film, open presents, see what kind of rubbish there is on television, and stuff my face with chocolate. Basically what I do every day of the year. So what's the difference? Presents. See, I told you presents are important. But let me warn you: no willy warmers, or anything as idiotic as that.