For those who read this.....

this is for you! And no one else. This blog is all about you. Do I know you? I don't have a clue. Because I can't see who is visiting my blog. You could be a stranger, or someone I know. Hello to you!

Ow shit, I have been rude. Goodmorning to you! Yes, it's morning for me, just woken up. I'm still on nightshifts, so yes, morning mate! I had a shitty nightshift, it was absolutely shit. Too many customers, so many things to do, and backache. Pain, like I never felt before. It's all stress, I hope so. That's what the doctor told me. But I'm not a sissy, I go on. I will be the last person to call in sick.

Now to talk about the wedding. Yeah, the wedding. It kept me awake during the day, when I needed my sleep. Grrr. I hope they had a great day! It showed me something, that the English are Royal lovers. Definately! We (the dutch) are more.... how do I put it down....... different. Because we compare things. For instance, the kiss. So short. As I said in my tweet last night, if it was my wedding, I would kiss Hayley and stop when the vicar tells me to! Otherwise I will kiss her forever and ever. And at least I will hold her. Not like Prince William did. So stiff. The kiss that Princess Maxima and Prince Willem Alexander gave was much more like it! No tongue, but still full of passion! Yes, that's what I want to see!

I didn't watch the whole thing, I've got a life. But bits and pieces of it. Planes flying over. The crowd waiting there. Nothing more. It was good enough for us. We are different to that. I can guess that all newpapers in the UK have pages full of it, but here we had the front page, and some small pictures on the next page. Nothing much to be honoust. It's a wedding, and we are happy about it. But that's it. Hope they have a great honeymoon, and maybe produce a future King? Could happen. You might never know. Celibate? No need, you are married, my son! Go wild! Not wild as Oscar Wilde, that's wild on the wrong side!

Today was Queensday in the Netherlands. And it shocked me a bit. Never realised it before. She and the Royal family visited Weert and Thorn. But so short. I think they stayed there for a max of 3 hours. And do you know how much it costed for the city of Thorn? 200.000 euro's! Ridicilous. I'm against that. I don't like it when the tax payer has to pay for it! This amount is low, if you compare it to the security costs of the Royal Wedding, 20 million! Wow. I wish I had one percent of that! I wish......

There you go, a nice picture of them two! Why red tho? Because of the Irish history? WTF? Weird rules. I would marry in what ever Hayley wants me to wear. If she wanted me bare naked, i would hesitate, but still do it. Her wish is my command. Because it's a common fact that the wedding is mostly about the bride. I heared it alot of times, and maybe it's true. "I don't care if my maid of honour walks in a binliner, I am the most important one. I don't care if my hubby does that too. I am the one". Okay Hays, I will walk in a binliner! Binliner? A garbage bag! That is what I mean. A prullenbakzak.

Woohoo, I just come up with a great idea! I want to include more dutch things into the blogs. Maybe recipies to make dutch pancakes, a chart to show what kind of liqourice we have, a map of NL, you name it, you will get it!  We will start with this:

This is my Queen, Queen Beatrix! Now you know. Aren't I full of intelligence? I want the world to know. I share it with the world, without a goverment stopping me from sharing! I will do that. I am naughty! Miauw! Yes, I am naughty!

Ps. Don't ask me stupid things about the Queen. I don't know. Really, I don't know when she was born. I don't know anything about her. Just that her husband is dead. That's all. Ow, and that her son is married to Princess Maxima. Don't ask me the name of her barber. How would I know?

Have a nice day! Bye Bye

I'm so sorry....

too all who get offended by my blogs. I am sorry. Didn't mean too. I'm not that horrible. Well, not now. I was this morning. A customer came to the till and asked if he could get the key to the toilet, because he needed to poop (he had diarrhoea >> yes he said that to me). And I said no to him. How funny is that? Horrible to the bone. I can imagine how he felt, he wasn't amused about the closed toilet. Not my fault, they are closed for a reason, because of vandalism at night. Yes ladies and gentlemen, they nick the toiletpaper, toiletseat, the garbagebin, the batteries from the airfreshener. How low is that? What the hell do you do with a toiletseat?

I hate nightshifts, especially when they are boring. The weather maybe good, but the customers don't come at night. Sleeping, I guess? I don't know, I am not allowed outside the fishbowl. Last night was a crappy night, I had nothing to do. Thank God that we had a magazine delivery that day (new magazines). So I could read stuff! Yes I can read. Not stupid tho!

This is where I work! Not now, you dopey git. I am at home, typing for you (and for me). And before you ask me, that WAS my car. I miss him. He was brilliant. He is kaput, broken. Like Jay-Z said "I've got 99 problems but a b**ch ain't one". That was true. My girl ain't a problem at all! The car was. I can tell you stories, OMG. Stories. Hahaha, I can write a book about it. A small story then?

I drove back from England, from visiting my girl. I filled the oil, because the stick was dry. I got into France without any problems, and when I passed the border, I needed fuel. Well, not me, the car. So when I stopped at the first petrol station in Belgium, I saw the oil light burning. I thought "how the hell?". And I checked the oil level. And the stick was completely dry, like a Tena Lady in it's plastic wrap. So I bought a extra liter of oil, filled it up, and left. But the second I left, the car made weird noises, and blue clouds came out of the exhaust. The maximum speed I could drive was 80 km/h. And I still had to drive for 3 hours. And it was snowing aswell! Can you imagine that I had a wet underpants? Yes, I had. I was scared. No credit on my phone, so I could call the ANWB (Erm... I don't know the English company, is it RAC?). I felt so bad!

The next day, I went to work with my car, and other cars were flashing me. And I knew, if Neil Amstrong was on the moon at that moment, he would have seen my blue clouds, coming out of the exhaust. You can't see the Chinese wall from the moon. But that, yes, he could have seen it! At work we had a special machine to check it out, and it said that I had 2.5 litres of oil to much in it! So the engine was drowning. Yep, the car was dying. Bit by bit.

It ain't here anymore. The green machine. It's a red machine now. Not a red devil tho, a red angel. Sweet and delicate. It was my fathers car. Now it's mine. I miss the ICE of the VW. It was brilliant. You could hear me arrive! If I'd arrive in Dover, Hayley could hear me coming (she lives in London!).

Hayley, she isn't here with me right now. She is in London, watching the Royal wedding. With mum and gran. I can imagine all the ladies crying. I wouldn't, I am a man. We don't cry. And if we do, it will be on our secret places. Like the toilet, when a turd is too big to push out. Yes ladies, we cry then! Except when you are gay, the exit is much wider. But us delicate men, we don't have a huge exit. It's an exit for a reason, not an entrance!

I cry when watching the English Patient. What a beautiful film. I can cry while listening to classical music. I can cry when I said goodbye to my girl at the airport or trainstation. But I'll never do it in front of her. Too much manly hormones. We don't do it! Not that often tho. Imagine us men crying all the time? I can't!

I miss my girl right now. She misses me too. Obviously she wanted me to watch the whole thing with her. And I know why! I am not stupid! She will be laying on my big unhairy chest, and using my t-shirt as a tissue! I would be bored stiff. It's a good thing I am not watching it with her, she would be angry at me for making stupid remarks all the time. I do that when I am bored. Well, not only when I am bored.

Can you tell I am bored now?

Do I hear a request there? A nice picture? I'll end with a nice picture. Only for you! For your eyes only! Should I strip and make a picture of my hairless chest? Don't think the world is ready for it! My up and coming beerbelly lol. No, not good for showing that to the world. I'll keep everything nicely tucked. No body parts visable, only my milk bottles (ladies, I mean legs!). The only person who saw me naked was....erm.... I mean persons: mum, dad, grandad, the doctor, the nurse, and ofcourse Hayley! Okay okay. A nice picture you want? There you go!

Awww, do you like it? I'll tell you about that next time, if I can be arsed. Lol.

Let's end with a nice saying: "You are wearing a suit but it doesn't suit you". I made it myself! Aren't I clever?

Bye bye

Hello to....

you! Not a lot of people visit this blog, I'll be probably the only one who keeps on looking on his own blog. Ow yeah, forgot my girlfriend. She is watching it too every day, I think. I hope so. Makes me feel good. These words aren't going into the wide and open universe without ever been read.

What a boring day it is today. For me. Maybe not for you, but it is for me. I've done some funny stuff, but not really exciting ones. Ive taken the dust of some good ol' cds and listened to them again. Makes me feel younger all of a sudden. Daft Punk, The Prodigy. Heroes. They created me. Gives me goosebumps everytime I hear the songs. I wish I didn't ruin the cds so much, so I could appreciate the music now. I hate it when a track skips, because of scratches, and molted M&M (I hope M&M, I don't have blue cum!).

Let's see.... what else have I done? Absolutely nothing. Haven't been on the computer much today. And that is weird. I'm a computer freak. A good freak, not the freak who masturbates over terms like Gigahertz, and making programmes etc. Not that kind of freak. Thank GOD! Imagine that. Masturbating while looking at the computer........ erm....... never mind!

I am wearing a hat! A hat, you say? Yes. 10 quid! Expensive. I think it was 10 quid. Shall I ask the misses how much it was? She knows everything. E V E R Y T H I N G! And it scares me. Alot. Because it means she is much more powerfull then/than me! (Don't know which than/then to use, sorry!). But in other ways, I am more powerfull! And that's good. Keeps a balance in the relationship.

But it's scary that they all know more then us men! Women! Dangerous species. They get to do all the fun stuff in life, which us men can't experience. Creating life! And they are so ungrateful for that. Always talking about the pain, and stress, and food cravings. For gawd sake, shut up! Please, do me a favour and shut up! I wish we could do that, create life. We create cum, that's all. (And no, that "man" who got a baby in America is just a f**king lesbian without boobs, technically not even a man. Without a penis, you ain't a man). F**king fake wannabee!

Imagine that. Being born in the wrong body? No I can't. I am pretty! Wouldn't want to change it for the world. Why would I? God blessed me with this body, and this "shitty" brain. That's me. Accept who you are. Only change things when they make you feel insecure.... I mean that well! When you had breastcancer, and you have a boobjob, I can accept that. If your face has been suffering from being burned, and you need plastic surgery, I can understand it. But don't do plastic surgery just because you want to look like Paris Hilton, or Michael Jackson (who wants to look like a dead paedophile?). Those people are fake from the outside, and the inside is fake aswell. Don't be fake, be genuine! Be real! That is what makes you unique. 

Where the hell am I going with this blog? Does it mean anything? Yes, it has a meaning. I'm not sure about it, but I think it shows you how I think, and feel. Do you care? I don't care. 

Let's get back to reality. Tomorrow is the Royal wedding. When I get home from working, I'll go straight to bed. And by the time I wake up, they are married! I'm not a hater, hope they have fun. But I simply can't be arsed. I only care about my wedding with my girl, and no one elses. Does that make me selfish? Maybe. But I wasn't invited to the Royal wedding, so ner. They won't get an invitation from me and Hayley! Deffo.

One day..... Hayley...... One day..... I'll struggle to say the words the vicar/priest/childabuser wants me to say. But until then....... We are married, in our hearts. Not on a piece of paper. I'll put something on a A4 paper if you want too. We are stuck together, like flies on a turd. Forever and ever. Our love will never go. Trust me. And if you don't, well, are you sure you want to marry me? lol.

One day!!!!!

Bye Bye!!!!

What a day to.....

start working on a nightshift. It is boring as hell, I think. So many things to do. So much to think about. But also so boring aswell. 8 hours in a fishing bowl as I call it. A fishing bowl. I don't know how the english describe the sound a fish makes, but I would say "blup".

8 hours in a working uniform, serving people. Yes, I am a servant. Lol. That sounds funny. But the work isn't. You are completely sealed of from the world, no television or anything. Yes, I do have a Blackberry, but no radio on it. It's good that I've got a 4GB memory card on it, full of music. No video's, why would I watch video's on it? If I've got that thing in my pocket all the time, how can I watch it, eh?

I can't wait to leave. Been inside the flat for 2 days in a row, I don't know how the world is outside these walls. And to be honoust, I'm getting a bit annoyed. A bit? Yes! Got some music to entertain me, but that's all. I want to do stuff, and get payed for it. Not like a prossie, ofcourse. Well. Erm. No, not my cup of tea (or Senseo coffee, I drink tea but not alot!)

Don't you hate it when you can do stuff, but your body just won't allow you? I've got those feelings all the time! Hoovering? Yes........ but I don't want too! Washing up? Yes....... but I can't be arsed. Feelings I have for a lot of things. Like Kate and Williams wedding. I want to watch it, but I can't be arsed. It's not my wedding for gawd sake! It's two people who are in love, and want to seal their love forever and ever. I doubt it will happen when I get married: soldiers walking down the street, etc. Don't even know if my girl, Hayley, wants that. She would urge me to watch the Royal wedding, but I would probably make the mistake of putting a DVD on and watch the Royles! God I love the Royles. They are hilarious! Much more entertaining then the Royals! (I think). Yeah, it was funny when Prince Harry wore a nazi thingy on his uniform, but if that is the most exciting thing you can imagine, my gawd. How boring.
I would rather watch something stupid.... like....erm.....I can't think right now.

Tonight I'll be at work. For 8 hours. Being bored as hell. But the music will get me through. Hayley will make sure I'll stay awake; the BBM will constantly make a sonar sound, stupid sonar sound. But hey, if it necessary to keep me awake, I won't mind. #thanksbabe

Back on the boring stuff now, living my life! Bye Bye

DJ MaRtIn-I Top 15 27-04-2011 (Masters of Hardcore X Special)

1. DJ Promo // Escape from my Hostile
2. Kid Morbid // No Escape from my Wrath
3. Stunned Guys vs DJ Paul // Bombing Eardrums
4. DJ Nosferatu vs Endymion // Stay Focused
5. System 3 // Like a Shot
6. Re-Style // Snertjong
7. Angerfist // Cannibal
8. Rob Gee // Nonshlen Tustokken (Neophyte Remix)
9. Bodylotion // Freak You
10. Impulse Factory // Rock My World (Bass D & King Matthew Remix)
11. Meagashira // DJ Killa
12. Evil Activities vs Endymion // B4 Your Eyes
13. DJ Buzz Fuzz // Murphy's Law (DJ Outblast Mix)
14. Gabber Mafia // Gabber Mafia (Stunned Guys Remix)
15. DJ Nosferatu vs Endymion // Broken Rules

Today is the day.....

I start writing a blog.... again! Not the first time I've tried it! But not the last time. Why not give it another go? Maybe I'll live an exciting life after all. Or not. I don't have a clue what my life will become from this day on. Could be really exciting, or so f**king boring. It's not my fault. I wish I was born as a superhero, but I wasn't. I'm a superzero, a nobody, someone who doesn't stand out in a crowd (depends if the crowd was full of chinese people, I will stand out because of my length lol).

Today is a beautiful day, I must say! It's grey outside. And early! Pfew, too early for me. I don't know what is happening to me, but I've been waking up lately around 10-ish and it annoys the living sh*t out of me. Does this mean I live a life like everybody else? Do I have a normal rythm in my life? Probably not, I guess it's a phase.

Ooops, I've just done the most embarrasing thing a foreigner can do...... I went on a translating site. I couldn't finish the last sentence, which ended with the word "phase". But now I know it suits. If not, go to www.vertalen.nu and file in a complaint!

Let's get back to reality. The weather. It's beautiful. I love it. Maybe that's the reason I like England so much. Because of the weather!!! I solved the case! I should become a lawyer. I am pretty enough to become one (how low can someone stoop)(Stoop? Is that a word?).

Here's a view..... my view. Taken with a Blackberry phone ofcourse. No fruity things in my house. I don't like fruits. Fruits are horrible #Iamlying!

It does look grey, doesn't it? It does! A day where you shouldn't go out, not even if you have a reason to go out! But I have too! Later on tonight, I've got to go to my parents house to do the garbage, and then I'm off to work. Yeah, how exciting.

It's sad to say that I miss my friends. Especially these two! They mean so much to me, give me joy and laughter, and also f**ked up teeth, but who cares? I certainly don't!

I think I wrote enough today. I'll be posting my daily (as daily as it can get) top summits. I'm a music freak. Deffo! You will see why! Maybe I'll post a blog about that too. My musical life story. And please, when I say musical, I don't mean the homosexual thingy called musical, I HATE musicals. Not my thing at all! Everything dance related moves me! Not that kind of music. Sitting down in a theatre watching some homo dance his arse off to some fake 80s song. Deffo not my kind of soup.

Mmmmm..... SOUP! Could kill a...... erm.... I could kill something. For a nice cup of soup! But I don't need too! I've got a cupboard full of soup. Noodles. Thanks to my girl! #ASDAPOWER! She makes sure I won't starve. But no M&M's for me now. Meh. Life is so unfair. I know, when I see people starving on telly, it's a different kind of starving. But still. I want my M&M's. Or Smarties! Mmmmmmm. Chocolate!

Enough said and done. Got to do something before I typ so much, that when I look back at it, it doesn't make any sense at all! #doesthismakeanysense

Goodday to you all. God bless you, because he won't bless me. God bless you? If you put a comma there, inbetween God and bless, the whole sentence is funnier! God, bless you! Like God just sneezed! Gezundheit, as the Germans would say it!

Bye Bye