Maybe.....

I will continue this blog.... I am not sure at the moment. I have this other site ( http://thecrazydutchmansblog.nl ) and to me, this other site is my musical blog. And I will have this one where I can put everything else on.

Well, what have I done recently? Nothing much. What has the world done? It has gone nuts. Just two days ago, some bloke in Liege has thrown handgrenades to a busstop, and killed 6 people (including himself). He injured over a hundred people.... this is insane. Why do we lose the plot?

It's unthinkable that people think like that. I honoustly don't have a clue where to get a gun, a handgrenade, or anything illegal. If you know people who sell them, or places where you can buy them, you are probably friended with the wrong people. I don't want to be friends with people who do illegal stuff. Guns and stuff, it's just wrong. Where are the good ol' days where you would use your fists if you had an argument with someone? Since when is it acceptable to use weapons?

The world has lost it. We are still in a recession, and the figures aren't positive. Summer 2012 we will be out of it (that's what they say). We are working so hard, but we struggle to survive. We manage in some way..... but a lot of people can't. People are struggling to survive. Money isn't a currency any more, we are going back into time where money wasn't the most important thing, food trading was.

It's sad to see a lot of people without a job, without money, begging for food. We shouldn't be begging for food. It's just wrong. So wrong.

And you know what the worst thing to me at the moment is? The snow! The snow is coming.... we don't know when, but it will arrive. And I hate driving in the snow, because it's like playing Russian Roulette with your life..... snow is dangerous, so fucking dangerous. How many video's are there online where you see cars crashing, because they can't control their car anymore? Snow is dangerous people. God, if you read this, please make sure that there is a lot of snow on the North and Southpole, but not in Europe? Thank you!

Make sure that you don't use the car when you don't need to go outside. Be safe people. Mr Snowman is a c*nt. A killer in disguise!!!

The End is Near....

it is. And I am not lying. It is coming to and end. I've done it for a long time, and quite frankly, I am fed up with it. I can't go any further. This hurts to say, but what's the point? I should terminate it. And immediately!!!!

No! I am not talking about the S-word. No way! Are you silly?!? I was talking about the end of my blogspot. It's been a long time, and a lot of blogs, but now that I've got my own website, it's better to finish it here, and let people enjoy it on my new site. Why would I have two sites? That's ridicilous.

Don't think that the bullshit blogs will stop, because they won't. Why should they? It's still maintained by me, so bullshit all the way. But where do you need to go too?

www.thecrazydutchmansblog.nl

Put it on your favourites. Copy and paste it to somewhere. I don't care. But make sure you have it somewhere. But don't ask me afterwards why I deleted this, and what my new page is. I'll leave this here for a long time, so you got the time to change.

I will have a good day. It's going to be a sad day for blogspot, they have lost me. But who knows, one day baby Martin and Hayley will be on here too? If internet still excists. I hope so.

Maybe baby Martin and Hayley has survived a nucleair war, and he or she needs to repopulate the world. Obviously typing a blog would be the last thing on their mind. But you might never know.

I'll see you on the flipside!

www.thecrazydutchmansblog.nl
www.thecrazydutchmansblog.nl
www.thecrazydutchmansblog.nl
www.thecrazydutchmansblog.nl
www.thecrazydutchmansblog.nl
www.thecrazydutchmansblog.nl

Get it?!!!!?

Television....

it's shit. No good programmes appear on telly, every time I'm watching it. During the day, stupid commercials appear, or do you call them infomercials? Not much info for me. Stupid. Typical American commercials "Yes Mike, with this machine, you will cut your bush outside quicker" "Angela, you don't need to work out anymore, you need Dr. Tamagotchi's relax tea, and you will loose pounds every week". Come on. Don't be stupid. If you want to loose weight, go to the gym. No pill will make you lose it that quickly and that easy. If it really worked, every American would use it.

And those talkshows? Stupid. How fun is it to sit there, and make fun of yourself? Stupid stupid stupid. "Yes, I had sex with my brother and uncle, and I don't know who's baby this is". That's just eurgh! I really don't like daytime television. It's just stupid and for those who find it interesting..... you must be asleep by the time the good shows appear.

But I would be lying if I would say that I don't watch some tellsell programmes, and be amazed. A device to make painting easier? No dripping? A good paintjob? I need that.... but there is always a but. A machine that makes food without using pans and pots? I fucking want that! But..... where's the catch? There is one of these informercials which I can't stop looking at.... the PaintPadPro. I've got a similar version of it, don't know the name, probably a cheap version of it: PeentPatProw. Don't know if it works, we will see next month. I will paint my flat with it. Hopefully it works. I will keep you updated. If not, that will be my advice to you: don't buy that shit. If it works, my advice will be "you don't need to buy that thing you see on telly, you can get a cheaper similar one in a pound/dollar shop".

Why am I talking about television? This year we celebrate the 60th birthday of television here in the Netherlands. And they show programmes that used to be on telly, but stopped. Television has changed alot. It can destroy and demolish alot. Where's the time when we played outside for hours and hours, until our parents shouted that we had to go back in? Where are the good times, where we played with marbles and painted the pavement? We need to stick behind the telly, otherwise we miss out on stuff. I don't hear anybody talking about television being addictive, but it is. How many people turn it on, the second they come indoors? How many people have got a tv in their bedroom? For what reason? I thought the bedroom was used to sleep in and have sex? Romantic, laying in bed, watching Sex and the City? Neh, not for me. No TV in my bedroom. Never will.

TV in a bathroom? TV in a lavatory? You see it on Cribs, all the celebrities have it. But why? I am not interested in the news when I am taking a shit. I don't want to see anything when I am weeing. A good book can be good too, you know? Read a good book when you lay in a bath. Nope, television is what people need. Are there any good shows on? Erm... not many.

Shows I watch, are interesting for my brain. I learn from it. Shows like James May's Toy Stories. Top Gear. Dirty Jobs. How Stuff Works. Those are shows where you might be able to use the information for personal use. James May reminded me that we had Meccano as kids. I totally forgot about it.

Don't get me wrong, stupid shows can be interesting too. I watch comedies all the time. Southpark. Scrubs. Friends. Two Pints of Lager. American Dad. Family Guy. I watch it all. But for a strange reason it still gives us advice, interesting advice. Southpark does it too. Seen the Human CentiPad? It's true. Big co-operations take over, we all click on "accept" and we don't read the rules. We submerge ourselves to whatever they write down in those tiny lines. We get screwed over again and again. We are lazy people.

Television is what brought us together back in the last century, and we were amazed by the power of it. And now we are all junkies. Addicted. Tellyheads. We can't live a day without telly. Damn you telly. Why are you so addictive?

And don't say you are not addicted! You are lying. We all watch a TV, even when we are abroad, sitting in a hotel lobby, and they show a local show. We all watch, without understanding it, but we need too. We need to be updated with daily facts and figures. But why not watch shows where we can learn from? Television has destroyed us, and the computer will do that too.

Go out and play. Only come in when it gets dark. Play, like you never played before. Sex? Have sex, without the telly. If you have a telly in your bedroom/bathroom/lavatory, turn it off, or leave it off. Enjoy sex/bathing/pooing. I know it might seem strange, but live life. Your life counts, because television can be turned on and off whenever you want. Your life is too precious, you can be turned off only once. No rebooting possible. So use it as long as you can! Play, for your own sake!! Play!

Tomorrow.....

I am old. 28 to be precise. Today I am young, I should do something special to remember today. What should I do? Walk around the streets naked, whilest dancing to the beat? Neh, not my thing. Should I do something nice? Water my plant? Neh, it's already dead. What should I do? Maybe something I've done for so many years..... nothing.

What have I done yesterday, and the days before that? I had a late shift on saturday and sunday, and I thought it was going to be a shitty weekend, but sunday turned out alright. 550 customers. That is less than a minute per customer, for 8 hours. Imagine that, meeting me at the till. You are served quicker than you can say "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious". I hate that film, I really do.

Yesterday I done fokk all. I went to the supermarket, and I thought I could buy a vlaai, a dutch delicacy, but they only had shitty one's. So I bought something else for myself, a bossche bol. Fucking great thing, it's .... erm..... it's a puff cake filled with whipped cream and covered with melted chocolate.  This is how it looks like:

But because it's so big, it's really hard to eat. Your face is always covered in chocolate, and you legs in whipped cream. It's so delicious, I will introduce it to my girl when she comes over next time. She doesn't know what hit her. Melted chocolate ladies! Melted! Isn't that what you want? Isn't that what you need? You don't need fish and chips, with horrible red sausages which look like a bulls penis.... you need a bossche bol.

Today I have an appointment. With the window cleaner. I forgot I had the appointment. I am dopey, I know. And after that, I will go out to get the car clean, and getting a vlaai. A vlaai is something which is eaten on birthdays and special occassions. This is how a vlaai looks like:

Ask Hayley, she loves them. Me and her were in an argument once, why I didn't introduce her to it earlier. I should have. But I can't be arsed. It's so common to me, I tend to forget it's special to foreigners. But Hayley ain't a englishman..... woman...... she isn't one for a full 100%. She loves a lot of dutch things, like frikandellen and bicky burgers. She loves our chips, our delicacies. She is more dutch than you might think. If I am going to move to the UK, I will fucking miss my frikandellen. It's going to be so fucking hard to live without them. Fish and chips? The fish stinks and the chips are covered with more grease then I've got in my hair.... so soaking wet. Bleh. We should introduce dutch chips in the UK. We could open up a shop called H&M's chippy shop, MarLey's ChipShop. Watch out, before you know it, it is going to be a great brand!!!!!!

But first my birthday. Send my present to me bitches! (lol, or give them to Hayley). But I need presents. Why? I am a greedy bastard, that's why!

4 days.....

until my birthday, so it's about time you get a present for me! Hurry up! Don't come crying that they didn't had it, you can go out right now. Chop chop, move. You know what I want!

Yes, 4 days until I turn 28. Magical it isn't. It's devastating. It's horror. When I want to retire here in the Netherlands, I have to work till the age of 67. So 39 years to go. That is pretty long. Too long. Can't imagine me working when I am nearly dead. Bleh.

28. Some of you haven't reached that age yet, and some of you already passed it years ago. Jealous? You shouldn't be. You should be proud of the age you are. Live life. There is only one life to live. And make the best out of it. Because I am....well, sort of. But if I continue the way I do right now, a burn out is near. Nearer than my retirement. 27 and a burn out? Yes, you can. Trust me, you don't need to be old to have that.

How are you? I am fine. Slept crappy, and my eyes aren't awake yet. My ears are nice and clean now! Bless a cotton bud. Today and tomorrow I am working, and it's probably the busiest weekend we had in a long time. And who else do you put behind the till? The craziest of them all, me! The one that can help customers while thinking of an island in the Pacific. The one that is quicker than a storm. Quick? You haven't seen quick yet, matey! I am so fast, customers are baffled by my quickness! Some customers specially come to the station after their holidays to see me work. That ain't a lie! I am like a robot behind the till. Zoef zoef, roef roef.

A robot, that's me. I even sell things people didn't buy. Like last week. A bus full of ze french. Horrible? A bit. They were all ravers going to Decibel, a big rave. And they were at my petrol station pretty early. They all needed the loo, so I let them. Having a angry frenchman isn't pleasant, so I let them. And one of the last persons who entered the shop, came to the till to pay for a bottle of water and something else, can't remember what else. He had an open can of Red Bull in his hand, and he shouted to me that he bought it somewhere else! I shouted back "you think that I am stupid? You don't walk into a shop with a drink they sell there? Come on, give me the barcode!" I scanned it, he paid for it, and got so angry, he threw the can to the till! Lol, that's active selling!

Was I hurt? Nope. But pissed off, the whole till was covered in Red Bull. And I couldn't mop the floor, because customers kept coming in, and due to safety reasons I wasn't allowed alone in the shop (the window was closed). Bleh, sticky floor.

Hopefully tonight will go quickly. I don't want to have a shit shift, those are crappy. And when it's busy and the achievement is big, I am always happy. I am pleased pretty easy.

BUT NOT THAT EASY! Now come on, go to the shop and get me a present. I will have a cake and coffee for those who come. But don't think that you live far away is an excuse! It's shopping time! Chop chop! Or however you spell it!

It's been quiet here....

I haven't been on here for a long time. I am sorry, I was so busy. You couldn't imagine it. So busy, I didn't even had time to wipe my arse after a shit. That busy? Yes!

How am I? If I would say that I am fine, that would be a lie. Had the worst sleep ever. And now I've woken up with a massive headache. I hate it. Last night there was a massive thunderstorm, I've never experienced one like this before. Flash after flash, all the time. And when you would hear the thunder, some of them were so loud, it would give me a heart attack. Bloody hell, I am afraid of thunder. My bed is all soaked. No I didn't piss in my bed, but it's sweat!

Look at this picture. This was made in Limburg, the county I live in. Looks heavy, don't it? And stunning too. I don't mind looking at thunder, but I simply can't sleep when it's thundering. You never know when to expect a blast, bang or however you call it. That's the worst bit.

I really like looking at it, and be amazed of the power it produces. If we would capture a thunder, we could supply a town of electricity for a year. Amazing, innit? If they captured it all last night, we would never have to worry about electricty. It continued for an hour or 2, and then it went with one big bang. Fokk me, I had a wet bed. (And again, not piss).

Today? Probably have rain and thunder and hail. Am I scared? Not yet, I'm not in bed yet. Hopefully no one gets injured anymore, or die due to the heavy weather, like last week in Belgium. I've seen the video's of Pukkelpop, and it scared me. I love going out, and I've been to such big parties, and I can imagine me standing there. Please, don't let anyone die of the weather anymore.

And let no one die because of a war. Syria, and Libia. Weird that they fight for freedom, and getting slaughtered by the one they voted for. The world has gone nuts. Maybe I know why it all goes nuts right now............. it's God sign, saying the summer of 2011 has ended.

And I didn't even have my holiday yet. Bleh. Thunder away God. I will be having my holiday when it's cold, thanks.

My looooooonnnngggg weeeekkkkeeennnddd (Part 2)

This is the second bit of our long weekend last week. I could have waited any longer with typing this, but I have probably forgotten alot by next week.

We were ready to hit Birmingham centre, Hayley was all dressed up, and I was...... well, I was ready hours ago. We determined that we sort out the way to the HMV Institute before we went back to the hotel, seeing as we both have never been there. Thanks, Google Maps. It was a short walk from Brittania Hotels to HMW Institute, 10 minutes maximum. We walked to it, got lost (passed some church and that chefs restaurant, Jamie Oliver). But we made it. The cue was short, we were there early. 10ish, I think. We were checked, and at the entrance we got in pretty quickly. We only needed to find our code, and that was it. Yes, we were in!!!!!!

OMG this building is big! As I said before, I've never been here before. We figured out that if we walked straight ahead, we would walk into the main room. So we walked downstairs, see what area was there. It was the Classic area, and DJ Sc@r was playing oldskool tunes. Yes, this is what I love and adore. Like Clear Vu said! She had a good time, and so did we. It was a bit empty in the beginning, but that didn't spoil the fun. Ok, let's get drinks. Hopefully it isn't expensive, like a famous club in London, where we paid more than 20 quid for four drinks. Nope, this was alright. And this was actually the first rave where they use a machine which has the price on it, so you don't need to be shouted at by the bartender. Handy machine! Should be introduced all around the world!

Sc@r was smashing it, but we wanted to see what this venue had to offer. What's this passage way next to the stage? A minor thing, the way around was poorly shown. You will figure out why in the next few lines.....

We got outside! Pfew, ciggie time. The atmosphere was relaxed. People were sitting down, chilling. But why? I thought they came for a reason, to level the floor even more by stamping hard!? Never mind, fag time was over, and we went back in again. We had to leave the Classic room, we wanted to explore. Upstairs then..... The Main Room. DJ Joey Riot was smashing it, and he had a great time. Me too! I went mental on his tracks. I think MC Wotsee was MCing, I am really bad in remembering things. But it was great! The atmosphere was laid down... it was so relaxed. Yeah, DJ, give it! And he did. But where is the other room? I am dutch, so European. And I want it a bit harder! So where's this famous Hardcore Techno room? Back on the stairway, and up. VIP? Nope, not where we needed to be. Ok, let's ask someone. "I ain't got a fokking clue". Yes, really helpfull. Bugger me. Where is it?

It took us half an hour to figure out where it was. Behind the toilets, or next to it (depends where you stand). But when we entered, I was shocked. It was empty! DJ Vortex was smashing it with Speedcore, it was ridicilous. It was hard too! But every rave I went to, where ever it is, always starts slowely, and end hard. So the hardcore would be first, and speedcore would end the night. But Vortex (no offense) had the honour to smash my ears to pulp. I can't stop listening, I have to continue.

Yes, this is what I came here for. DJ Marc Smith b2b DJ Brisk. Yes! European Gabber. Bring it on! Marc Smith was killing it, for real. Unbelievable. He was so bouncy behind the decks, and he must have destroyed them. Scratching all the way. DJ Sy has to watch out, Marc is on his way to become the King of Scratching.

Even though it wasn't packed to the max, the people where really cool with it. You had space to do your thing. And I did. Sweat? Yes, all over my body. The floor became so sticky, it felt like glue. Maybe next time other shoes? This is shit.

Brisk and Marc performed perfectly. A lot of famous European tracks, and I liked them all. It was so short, by the time I was covered from top to toe in sweat, it was over. Marc showed us some skills, and Brisk was off the stage.... maybe he ate to much Sinfull Sauces... Never mind.

I think Scott Brown was next. I don't know, sorry. My brain is still fucked. But I needed some fresh air, and a fag. So we walked outside. Outside was packed to the max, there were more people outside than inside of the Hardcore Techno room (let's call it the Hard Room, much easier to typ). Fag time over, let's get back inside. Downstairs. Yeah! Oldskool tunes. I love them. But we wanted to see who was playing upstairs.

Hixxy! The man himself. Busy as hell! No time to breathe, time to get moving. Moving? Well, just bounce up and down on one spot, there wasn't room to move, nor breathe. Ow? What the fok just happened? Equipment failure? That's a bummer. Or was it part of the show? Don't know, but the people all shouted at the DJ! And he got back to it quickly. I loved it. It wasn't to hard, if you compare it to the Hard Room, and not as slow as the Classic Room. It was nice!

MORE DRINKS, I'M GETTING DEHYDRATED!

DJ Brisk was back behind the decks again! This time in the mainroom! And I liked it. A lot of new tunes, and he just simply won't tell me which remix of "CLSM'S I will wait" he played. A lot of tunes which had breakbeat influenced bits in it, and I liked it alot. I don't know if it is a new thing in the UK Hardcore scene, but the room to breathe got a bit bigger. I think people still need to adapt to the sound. And they should! It's the best! Brisk started with famous UK tunes, and ended with famous EU tunes. Am I back upstairs again? No I wasn't. Why so short? I want this set to be longer!!! Meh. Brisk ended, and I needed to catch up with him. So I didn't see or hear who played after him. I am sorry! Had a long weekend, and catched as much as I could. But due to a fucked up timeline (my own timeline) I couldn't stay longer. A quick picture with Brisk, and a visit to the merchandise stand, and it was time to head back to the hotel.

It was quiet in Birmingham. And I loved it. OMG my ears must be bleeding. Such a weird feeling in my stomache. I want to go back, and hope this night would never end. But it did for me. And I would like to thank everybody at Uproar Summer Sounds for a wicked night. But please, next time, put the timetable online, so I could plan who to see and who I sadly can't see. And make the information a bit more visable. I couldn't find the Hard Room, it took half an hour. And a bit more lightening stuff in the hard room. It felt like all the equipment went into the main room, and upstairs was left out.

We went back to the hotel, and went to sleep. Woke up with our ears still messed up, and had a bath. We must get rid of the smell. Bleh. We were disgusting! A walk to the station had to be stalled, we needed to get birthday presents for uncle Martin. A quick tour around Brum, and then back to the station. Finally, a train where we could actually sit in. Marylebone station is where we got off, and took the tube to Oakwood. A quick walk, and we were home. Uncle Martin was there, and we talked a bit. After that a visit to the local Wetherspoons was necessary. We did it, got back home, and went to bed, because we had to wake up at 4 o'clock in the morning.

We woke up, got ready for the departure, and we got at St Pancras on time. A quick kiss, and a tear, and then... the journey back home. I wish this weekend never ended. My mum picked me up at Heerlen Station, and an hour later I took my own car, and drove home. I missed it a tiny bit. Hayleys room ain't big enough for a kingsize bed; that was the only thing I missed lol. And now I am here, and I miss Hayley.

For those DJ's who read this, can't you give me a job over there? So I don't need to come over every time, and I can live in the country I love and adore? Thanks!