I love music!!!

I do. I really do. It's sickening if you knew how much I really adore music. It's a problem to me. It's like being addicted to speed. I am so addicted, I need help. Help in any way. But how? I don't know how. Because I can see music. Music is everywhere to me. And I can see it. I have something that is being called Synesthesia. Is it a disease? Should I be cured from it? Why? I am enjoying myself. The only people I harm is myself. And obviously my neighbours. But they don't care, so why would I?

I listen to music whilest driving. I can't drive without a CD with me. I can't. Simple. If I find out that I haven't got a CD with me, I will rush back indoor, to get one. I know my whole collection. I've got a weird brain. Just by looking at the CD, I can see and hear the music which is on the disc. I just need to hear a tune, and 9 times out of 10, I can state which CD it came of. It's weird, I know. Ask me what I had for dinner yesterday, I can't tell you it. I can tell you what I have listened to, yesterday. It's a handicap.

I listen to music when I am on the bog, when I am doing the dishes, when I am everywhere. When I am at work, I can't do anything without listening to it. Even now, as we speak, I have a CD turning around in my Dolby Surround System. It's amazing. I can enjoy it, even when it's really late. No one understands me, really no one does. It's weird. No one who can be called my friend or family, shares this passion for electronical music. My sister listens to it too, but not as much as she did before. She borrowed some CDs from me a few days ago, because she wanted some good Club tunes. And obviously, I have some. She ripped them, so she can have the pleasure like I had whilest listening to them.

I wish, someone could actually have this disease, like I have. My girl has a different kind of disease. It's been called "love" syndrome. She is perfectly healthy, but not me. I am the opposite of her. She likes music too, and she carries her iPod everywhere, but not in an extent as I do. It is actually funny when she is with me, and I jibber jabber about electronical music. She sits there, listening, but in her head she might be thinking "where is a gun, when you need one?" Nah, she ain't like that, but I can go on for hours and hours. And it can be really annoying. I know myself by now.

And when I say I go on for hours, I do. It has caused a lot of agony for the people who are dear to me. I get really annoyed when people do think that electronical music can be squeezed inside a box. It can't. The diversity is huge, enormous. Don't start talking about that, I get offended. Do think outside of the bloody box. Don't think electronical music is the same, you don't have a clue. And to be honoust, you haven't even paid attention. You can't hear music the way I can. You can't understand it the way I do. It's amazing what people sometimes say to me. 

Music is like blood through my vains. My lovely girl is my heart beating. My life is complete. Obviously a human being can make mistakes, and I have made mistakes. Some mistakes will haunt me for the rest of my life. A stupid phonecall being missed can cause grieve. If I picked up the phone, I could have heared that my grandad was dying, and I could have been there. But because I didn't pay attention that much, and for the simple reason I missed calls, and didn't call back. I wish I'd called them back, so I could have been there. It will haunt me. But I've made other mistakes, which are life changing. And I have reversed them, thankfully. I needed to reboot my system, to see that I made a huge mistake, and I needed to say sorry. Sorry for those who don't have a clue. But I have changed. If ex-classmates would see me, they would notice a difference. It's lifechanging, that bloody word. I wish I could say the same about my addiction. But I ain't sorry. It's who I am. I don't want to be changed. I love it.

When me and the misses are going to live together, I can already picture out how our house will look like. It will be big, and nice. And one spare room for me, to escape the daily trauma that is being called "the outside world". I can dissapear in that room. Obviously I need to secure the walls, to make sure no beats, bass or melody can be heared in the other room. I love my girl so much, I don't want to destroy her pretty mind with my addiction. All those beats can destroy her pretty mind. Love, don't take this the wrong way. You know what I mean. Imagine you listening to Rave music for an entire night......... have you imagined it? Now imagine it for the rest of your life! Panic? Yep! I know in a relationship it's give and take. And I am nice to you! And still, being an addict, get my daily drugs.

Kids, don't use drugs. It's bad. You want an example? Look at me!